


Unravel

by cheapdate



Category: K-pop, Produce X 101 - Fandom, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Death, Gen, Halloween, Horror, M/M, Survival Horror, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2020-12-09 10:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20993381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheapdate/pseuds/cheapdate
Summary: Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?





	1. Day of the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> I love Halloween and horror, so here is an X1 Zombie AU that literally no one asked for! Please note that there are deaths and that juggling this many characters in a story is SUPER DIFFICULT. I love all of these boys very much, but some must be sacrificed for storytelling and writer sanity! Thank you for reading!
> 
> c/p'd from chapter 5: I know that some of this can be difficult to read for some (it's HARD TO WRITE when I'm so ATTACHED to all of them) so just as an FYI, when the fic is finished, I will add a spoiler note to the end of the very last chapter giving explicit warnings for when/where character death happens. So, if you're worried, just wait until the fic is marked completed and I will supply the necessary info so you can avoid or prepare for those moments!

“We can’t stay here,” Wooseok said quietly, staring down at his cell phone. He tried again to successfully make a call, even though the display had read  _ No Service _ for the past 20 minutes.

“And where exactly do you suggest we go?” Hangyul asked. He ran his fingers roughly through his hair, making it stick up in haphazard directions. “If we leave, we’re probably going to end up dead.”

Hyeongjun and Dohyon’s eyes went wide from their places, sitting side by side on the floor, pressed back against the wall.

“Shut your mouth,” Wooseok hissed back.

“Then don’t make stupid suggestions.” 

“I’ll suggest whatever I want.”

“Yah!” Seungwoo clapped his hands together, silencing them. The short outburst was enough to command the attention of the room. It was a distinct reprimand from their leader and it immediately drew a response. He knew that if they started falling apart now there’d be no way they could hope to survive whatever the hell was going on. Now more than ever, they needed to remain a cohesive unit.

Hangyul slumped down into a chair, sheepishly, and looked down at his feet. Wooseok simply turned away, lifting and angling his phone in different directions, trying desperately to make one single bar appear. The tension in the room was palpable and everyone was clearly on edge. It would be unreasonable to expect anything else. None of them were prepared to deal with this kind of situation. No sane person would be.

At around noon, about an hour after their van had arrived at Gwanghwamun Plaza for the Seoul Music Festival, the KCDC had shut down the entirety of Jongno-gu. News reports were throwing around words like ‘precaution’ and ‘quarantine,’ but no one was giving any specifics. The second van carrying Seungyoun, Yohan, Minhee, Junho, Dongpyo and Eunsang was supposed to arrive just a half an hour later, but it never showed up. The bus with their managers, stylists, handlers and outfits never arrived either.

The line of hopeful fans and photographers waiting outside the barricades to be allowed entry into the event had slowly started to dissipate naturally as news spread via social media. Eventually, an ominous pack of armed military personnel came to disperse the remaining determined holdouts. The performers were then ushered out of the square and into a nearby office building by a group of security guards who looked oddly uneasy. About three hours later, the news casters, vague as they were, went off-air, leaving behind an eerie scramble of static and noise. The SMUF staff stopped coming to check up on them. Even the two bodyguards stationed outside their room disappeared.

The cell phone service started to slow and lag, but they were able to pick up small pieces of unsettling information via the internet. It was difficult to separate fact from fiction. Cheeky ‘Gong Yoo save us’ memes mixed with reports of an ‘outbreak.’ Social media was buzzing with people searching for loved ones or inquiring about safe zones and checkpoints. Whatever was going on, the general public seemed to be in a state of mass hysteria. When the phone service eventually dropped out completely, they were left with more questions than answers. One thing, however, was extremely clear - something in Seoul was very wrong.

For awhile, they simply waited. Surely, eventually, someone would come and retrieve them and explain the situation. Swing wouldn’t completely abandon them. There was an entire team protocol for emergency situations and it seemed like it had been created for this exact kind of crisis. However, the longer they waited, the more obvious it became that they were on their own. It was nearing evening and soon the sun would begin to set. With every passing hour, the mood of the members seemed to grow more tense. Not only were they cut off from the world via technology, but the boardroom they’d been ushered into had no windows. It was suffocating and unnerving. They had absolutely no idea what was happening beyond these four walls.

Seungwoo had spent most of the time completely silent, sitting perched on top of the large meeting table with his long legs rhythmically swinging back and forth. It hadn’t escaped his notice that as the leader, he held the position of authority in their current predicament. They’d be looking to him for guidance, as they always did. But was he capable of making decisions for them when there was so much potentially at stake? He wasn’t sure. The responsibility was weighing on him heavily and he knew that eventually there would be difficult choices he had to make.

Hyeongjun and Dohyon had been unusually subdued, playing games of tic-tac-toe on some computer paper they’d found. Eventually, the stress of the situation seemed to wear them down and for about 20 minutes they’d napped sitting up, leaning against each other for support. They were visibly shaken and pale, jumping at every small, unexpected noise.

Hangyul had been the most restless of the bunch. He’d spent his time pacing around and then pawing through the various filing cabinets that lined the walls. Wooseok had commandeered the search for information, using his cell phone to scour the internet for some nugget of reliable news, but once he’d lost service he’d almost immediately withdrawn into himself. He’d spent the rest of the time tucked into a corner, furiously trying to make a phone call go through.

With a loud sigh, Seungwoo slid off the table. He stretched his long arms over his head, looking at each of the other boys, one by one. He felt hesitant and almost apologetic. There were no easy answers or directions to follow. Rubbing the back of his neck, he leaned against the edge of the table.

“I think Wooseok might be right,” he said finally, frowning slightly. “Unfortunately.”

Instantly, Hyeongjun shot up to his feet, his face white and drawn. His hands were pressed back against the wall, seemingly being used to hold himself steady.

“You think we should leave?” he squeaked out, his eyes filled with fear. “But, hyung, someone will come for us, won’t they?” He looked around the room desperately, clearly hoping for some back up or reassurance.

“No one’s coming,” Wooseok said flatly, his attention still focused on his cell phone.

The tension in the room twisted even tighter.

Hangyul blew an audible breath of frustration out from between his lips.

“You don’t know that,” he growled. He pushed himself up out of his chair, his jaw clenched tightly. He was still clearly agitated from their earlier spat.

“I know more than you,” Wooseok mumbled.

“You don’t know shit.”

“Hey!” Seungwoo snapped, his voice much sharper and more threatening than it had ever been before. He was clearly losing control of the situation and the room was dissolving into chaos. But, his warning was ignored.

“I know you’re an idiot.”

“Rich, coming from the guy still trying to make a call when there’s no god damn service!” Hangyul held up his own cell phone and waved it out. “But go ahead and drain your battery for nothing. Dumbass.”

For the first time since their argument began, Wooseok looked up. His eyes narrowed at Hangyul, flickering with billowing heat and venom. Hangyul, however, took it as a challenge and pressed on.

“Who do you think you’re even going to call, huh? The police? Swing? Like they even give a fuck right now. Lee Dongwook-nim? Maybe he’ll swoop in and save us like we’re in a drama? Maybe you’re trying to reach your stylist? Bet you can’t stand the idea of not being dystopian-chic for the apocalypse!”

In a flash, Wooseok was moving forward and within the blink of an eye, he was on Hangyul, one fist roughly clutching the front of his shirt while the other held up the cell phone. Clearly caught off guard, Hangyul slowly looked from Wooseok’s balled up fist to the phone. Hyeongjun and Seungwoo leaned in closer to get a look of their own.

Splayed across the brightly lit screen was a photo of Seungyoun, smiling brilliantly from ear to ear and holding up a peace sign with his fingers. Beneath it, his number.

Hangyul visibly deflated, leaning into Wooseok’s fist with a heavy, apologetic sigh. The tension and frustration immediately left his face, leaving behind a blank, tired expression. He tore his eyes away from the phone screen and looked down at the floor.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I just-”

“Keep it,” Wooseok spat. He released Hangyul’s shirt and backed away.

The room was silent for a moment. A small sliver of peace. A silent truce. Maybe now they could work together instead of being literally and figuratively at each other’s throats. They would need to come up with a plan and a solid course of action. It was extremely important that they all agreed and understood. Following directions was never X1's strong suit and Seungwoo worried that it might ultimately be their downfall. Of course, he'd never quite imagined so much would be at stake.  


“Seungwoo-hyung?” Dohyon’s deep voice sounded unnaturally small and timid. He pushed himself up off the floor, picking anxiously at the hem of his sleeves. He swallowed hard, seeming to struggle with his words. “I… I need to use the bathroom.”

Seungwoo nodded and tried to offer a small, reassuring smile, but his stomach immediately dropped. He had no idea what awaited them on the other side of the door. He didn’t have the slightest clue as to which direction would lead them to the nearest bathroom. Despite quietly deciding just moments ago that they’d likely have to leave the room, being faced with the prospect so suddenly made his legs feel stiff. He tried desperately to remember if he’d seen any doors labeled ‘restroom’ when they’d originally been ushered through the building, but of course, he’d been extremely distracted at the time and so his mind was currently drawing a blank.

“Okay,” he said, forcing the tone of his voice to sound confident and unaffected. “No big deal. I’m sure there’s a bathroom right outside the room. It will be fine. I could use a trip myself.”

And then the lights went off, plunging them into darkness.


	2. Dead Man Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your feedback so far! ^_^
> 
> The 'horror' tag becomes relevant, fam. You're warned!

The dull, greenish glow of Wooseok’s cell phone screen was the only thing visible in the entire room. In a sudden instant, the overhead fluorescent lights had all clicked off. The TV mounted to the wall in the corner of the room had been nothing but off-air white noise for almost 2 hours, but now it was completely blank, losing power with a small, audible pop.

Their sudden descent into darkness was punctuated by a frightened yelp that sounded like Hyeongjun and a _ ‘well, shit’ _ that was definitely from Hangyul. Seungwoo immediately broke out into a cold sweat. If the situation wasn’t unnerving enough before it was downright terrifying now.

Almost immediately, they all started pulling out their own phones, turning on the flashlights or increasing the brightness on their screen’s displays. The glare of manufactured light cast eerie, dancing shadows around the large boardroom.

Seungwoo retrieved his own cell from his back pocket and held it up to his face. It was only 6:48pm. If they simply left the building and walked outside, there would still be plenty of natural daylight. But somehow the prospect of leaving made him more uneasy than the idea of staying put. He had a feeling that once they left, there would be no coming back. The pitch blackness of the room was unsettling, but they were still relatively safe from whatever the hell was going on outside these walls. But for how long?

For most of the afternoon, Seungwoo had been thinking in the short term. He’d been convinced that this was all just a localized incident and that they’d be removed from Jongno-gu as promptly as possible. He imagined the second van of members had simply been been diverted to Swing’s headquarters and the boys were probably restlessly awaiting their return back at the dorms. He figured that as long as he remained relaxed and did his best to calm those around him, rescue would soon arrive and this would all just become a strange experience to add to their memories as X1.

But after the tv broadcasts had all gone off-air, it was impossible to ignore that whatever was happening was not limited to this area of Seoul. The fact that not a single soul had come to check in on them in over 2 hours was chilling. How would anyone even know where to find them at this point? Who would know that they’d been evacuated from the square and moved into a nondescript office building on the adjacent street? Had anyone of higher authority been alerted? Did Swing have any clue where half of X1 was currently holed up?

Seungwoo had clung desperately to a fading hope, but that small flame seemed to have been extinguished along with the lights. He looked around the shadowy room noting each boy’s face, dimly lit by their phones, their expressions all wide-eyed and and pursed lips.

“Turn off your phones,” Seungwoo instructed. “Or at least kill every app. Turn your brightness down low. Don’t use it for anything unnecessary.”

“H-hyung,” Hyeongjun began to protest, but Hangyul interrupted, turning off his own phone’s flashlight and instantly disappearing into shadow.

“He’s right. We need to conserve our batteries. If the power outage is widespread, we won’t be charging our phones for awhile.”

‘We’ll take turns using them,” Seungwoo agreed. “For now, I’ll use mine. You all save your battery. We might need it later.”

He paused, hesitating before giving his next set of directions as the phones around the room all dimmed. This moment felt monumental and even in the darkness, he could feel their eyes all looking to him.

“We’re going to find a bathroom. And then we’re getting out of here.”

There was complete silence as they all seemed to collectively come to terms with the current situation.

“No one’s coming to get us?” Hyeongjun asked, his voice high-pitched and desperate.

“I’m sure that someone is looking for us,” Seungwoo answered gently. He hoped he sounded more confident in that belief than he felt. “But they probably won’t know where to find us. They might not know we were moved into this building.”

There was an audible sigh that sounded like Hangyul and the shifting of feet that might’ve been Dohyon. Seungwoo wasn’t sure and it was strange to feel so far removed from the other members when they were standing only feet apart. As the leader, he’d always been intensely in tune with the group, but in that moment he wasn’t sure how to reach them. It made him feel helpless and oddly uncomfortable. And that was just the boys in the room. Thinking about the fate of the other half of X1 was something he’d been consciously pushing out of his mind all day. He had to believe they’d simply avoided this whole mess altogether and were currently somewhere safe. The alternative wasn’t something he was mentally equipped to handle.

“The roof,” Wooseok interjected, speaking up from the darkness across the room. “We should go to the roof.”

“To jump to our deaths?” Hangyul gave a humorless laugh.

“No,” Wooseok snapped. “I might be able to get service. And we can get an idea of what the hell is going on out there from a safe vantage point. I just don’t think we should just go strolling out the front doors without some more information.”

Seungwoo considered the suggestion and found it quite sound. If he was being honest, the thought of leaving the perceived safety of the office building right at dusk didn't seem smart. Wooseok’s idea made sense. Heading out onto the streets right before nightfall would likely be a mistake.

“Alright.” He flicked through his phone, finding the flashlight app and turning it on. “First, we find a bathroom and then we make our way to the roof. We’ll link hands. Under no circumstances do you let go. We move quietly and quickly as a chain. Do not get separated, please.”

There was a whisper of mumbled okays as they all shuffled towards the door, guided by the beam of light shining out from Seungwoo’s phone. He took the lead, of course, stationing himself at the door and grabbing Hyeongjun’s hand. Their linked fingers trembled and Seungwoo wasn’t sure if it was his body’s doing or Hyeongjun’s. Maybe both. He noticed the way Hangyul pushed Dohyon to the middle of the line, situating him between Hyeongjun and himself for maximum protection. Wooseok fell in place at the back, giving a curt nod as he latched onto Hangyul’s free hand.

With a sigh, Seungwoo lifted his cell phone to his mouth, gripping it between his teeth and lips so that he had a free hand to find the doorknob.

Seungwoo would later wonder if this had been a moment he got terribly wrong or luckily right. Had leaving the room been the catalyst that rained absolute horror and despair down upon them or had it ultimately saved them from an even more unimaginably cruel fate? These were questions to be added to a very long and painful list that would never, ever be answered.

Swallowing down a lump in his throat, Seungwoo gripped the doorknob with sweaty fingers and inhaled a deep breath through his nose. His heart hammered wildly in his chest, causing the beat of his pulse to pound loudly in his ears. It took all of his fortitude to physically force himself to push open the door.

** _Light._ **

The sudden shift from darkness to light made him squint, his vision blinded. It seemed silly that he hadn’t considered the possibility that the entire building _ wasn’t _plunged into complete blackness. Now that they’d opened the door, he could see that the hallway was lined with wide, open glass windows and the late day sunlight was streaming in. It made him realize just how distracted he’d been when they’d first arrived and how unaware he’d been of their surroundings. A tiny flicker of hope reignited in his chest. Somehow, out in the daylight, things didn’t seem nearly as frightening.

Seungwoo grabbed his phone from his mouth and slid it into his back pocket before turning around to face the others. He gave a nod and what he hoped was reassuring grin then tugged on Hyeongjun’s hand, leading them forward.

As his eyes fully readjusted to the light, he glanced around the hallway, noting all the doors and searching for one that might be labeled as the bathroom. Despite feeling significantly more relaxed, his senses still seemed heightened by adrenaline. Every scrape of sneaker against floor behind him made him cringe. The quiet emptiness of the hall and every darkened room they passed was eerie, as though the people who worked here had simply suddenly vanished without warning.

They shuffled forward - offices, a copy room, the elevator they’d used to reach the 4rd floor just hours ago, more offices, but no bathroom. When they reached the end of the hallway, they were met with a heavy metal door that lead to a stairwell. Seungwoo sighed and looked back at the group. Hyeongjun and Dohyon blinked at him expectantly. Hangyul was glancing around nervously, seeming to keep watch. Wooseok’s free hand was fumbling with his phone again, holding it up in an attempt to get service from their new position.

Despite the way his legs stiffened in protest, he knew they couldn’t just stay here. With the power out, they couldn’t retrace their steps and take the elevator up to the top floor, either. The only remaining option was the stairs. Seungwoo wasn’t exactly sure why admitting that made his blood run cold, but in retrospect, it might have been his primal instincts desperately attempting to warn him.

He pressed on, pointing toward the stairwell and giving a quiet nod. Hyeongjun, Dohyon and Wooseok nodded back in agreement, while Hangyul simply shrugged and sighed, clearly uneasy. Turning back forward, Seungwoo placed his fingers on the latch and leaned against the door with his shoulder, slowly easing it open. Peeking inside, he didn’t see anything other than a typical stairwell. Better yet, it was lit by a set of emergency lights mounted on the walls.

With a deep breath he heaved the door the rest of the way open and moved through the threshold, pulling Hyeongjun along by the hand with him. Gingerly, he led them up the first flight of stairs, careful to place his foot quietly on each new purchase. They ascended the second flight without complication as well. Seungwoo was starting to feel some of the tension ease from his shoulders as they started to climb the third flight. But, letting his guard down had been a massive mistake. He’d been lured into a false sense of security.

The smell hit them first. The air was suddenly filled with the sharp scent of damp rot and metallic decay. Bile rose up Seungwoo’s throat and he automatically covered his mouth with the back of his free hand. While the heavy, putrid odor was extremely unpleasant, it was the sounds that followed that whiff of death that really struck an icy tingle of fear down his spine.

It sounded like someone was drowning. There was a throaty, choking gurgle and then the sickening sound of something wet being dragged. They all instantly froze in place, exchanging looks of unabashed terror. Hyeongjun’s bottom lip trembled as he moved to cling to Seungwoo’s arm.

Cold sweat rolled down Seungwoo’s forehead as he lifted a finger in the air and made a swirling motion, silently signaling them to turn around. They shuffled backwards, bumping into each other as they tried to navigate back down the stairs in reverse. The disgusting gargling sound began to fade as they moved, but the awful smell only seemed to be growing more potent. Behind him, Hangyul made a loud retching sound.

He twisted around quickly, in a futile attempt to hush him, but what he saw froze him dead in his tracks. The reason the stench of death had only seemed to hang heavier in the air as they retreated was because death had found them. As Wooseok’s back foot hit the landing, someone else reached the top of the stairwell coming up from the other side.

Some… _ thing _.

Calling it a _ ‘someone’ _was a gross misrepresentation of what actually shambled up to the landing. There were clear signs that it had been a person at some point in time, given the torn pieces of stained, matted business suit and the bone structure that was currently protruding out from the grey webbing of rotted skin, but they were nothing more than a mindless sack of gore now. It carried the metallic scent of blood and decay with it, it’s left leg twisted around at an extremely unnatural angle as it dragged behind. It’s eyes were purple and yellow, like small, bruised orbs, rolling around sickly in two sunken, crusted sockets. It had been silent in its approach and Seungwoo could clearly see why - it’s entire lower jaw was gone, it’s tongue hanging down like a slab of uncooked beef and dripping with sticky, crimson goop. And it was reaching for Wooseok.

“Hey!” Was all Seungwoo could manage to call out, his voice hoarse and strangled.

The next 5 seconds seemed like they happened in slow motion. Time was suspended as the world pitched sideways, tossing them out of reality and into a nightmare.

The harbinger of death lurched forward just as Wooseok began to turn around.

_ One heartbeat. _

Dohyon screamed, but to Seungwoo it sounded miles away, muffled by the sound of his pulse pounding in his ears. Hyeongjun released his hand and suddenly disappeared from his peripheral view.

_ Two heartbeats. _

“Fuuuuuuck!” Hangyul’s voice echoed deafeningly through the stairwell as he spun around. In what seemed like a reflexively motion, his hips tilted and he brought one leg up. His foot rushed by Wooseok’s head, missing the ear by mere millimeters, as his heel connected with the soft, fleshy cheek of the creature.

_ Three heartbeats. _

The force of the impact sent it stumbling backwards. It’s twisted leg crunched sickeningly beneath it's own weight as it slumped down against the wall, leaving behind a grotesque smear of black gore.

_ Four heartbeats. _

Wooseok glanced over his shoulder, seeing it for the first time. He made a choking sound in his throat and then instantly began frantically pushing them back up the stairs, his face white and twisted in horror.

_ Five heartbeats. _

The creature was struggling, but trying to regain its footing. On top of that, the commotion had clearly revealed their current location. The muffled gurgling sound they'd heard above them moments before was growing louder again. They needed to get out of the stairwell, now.

Everything seemed to suddenly snap back into focus. There was no time to hesitate. Seungwoo looked down, searching for Hyeongjun. He found him crouched down on the step, covering his head with his arms and rocking back and forth.

“We gotta go!” he pleaded, bending down to pull him up. “Come on, we gotta move!”

He practically picked Hyeongjun up and placed him on his feet before snatching his hand and forcibly dragging him back up the stairs. They’d have to take the first door they reached. There would be no time for precautions or nuanced choices. They’d simply have to hope that no fresh hell awaited them directly on the other side.

They quickly reached the landing, crowding together in an anxious clump. Seungwoo grabbed the door lever and pulled. Glancing over his shoulder and up the opposite stairwell, he could see a second creature, the one emitting the horrible wet groaning noise, dragging itself face first down the steps.

“Go!” he hissed, holding the door open and pushing the boys through, silently praying that they’d face no gruesome surprises. He followed on Wooseok’s heels, yanking the heavy door closed behind him.

At first glance, the new hallway seemed empty and safe, but Seungwoo wasn’t taking any chances. Not after the nightmare they’d just experienced. A few feet down he could see a closed door labeled ‘lounge.’ It seemed as good a place as any to hunker down and catch their breath. Not to mention try to wrap their heads around whatever the fuck had just happened.

He didn’t bother signaling. He simply moved to the front of the pack, grasping up Hyeongjun’s free hand and leading them to the room. Again, he cautiously pushed the door open, peeking inside to assess the danger. It was dim, lit only by the fading sun streaming in through two small windows, but it was enough to make out the shapes in the room. A table. Two couches. A water cooler. A mini-fridge. A tv. No horrific undead businessmen. Seungwoo was so relieved he could cry. He quickly pulled them inside and quietly eased the door shut, careful not to make a sound. Before he could even move away, Wooseok was shoving a couch over to block it, reinforcing the entryway and barricading them in. Seungwoo assisted, securing it in place in front of the door. Satisfied, they both collapsed down onto it, sweating and breathing heavily. Hyeongjun and Dohyon were sitting hunched over under the table, side by side, with their knees pulled up to their chests. Hangyul rested back against the opposite wall, head tilted up towards the ceiling as his chest visibly rose and fell. He laughed quietly and shook his head, looking down and directly at Wooseok.

“And you _really_ said you could beat me at Taekwondo?”


	3. In the Dead of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

Nothing made sense. Reality was supposed to be defined by a clear set of logical rules. What had happened in the stairwell was the kind of stuff that happened in movies or dramas, but not in real life. This morning, X1 had been worried about voting controversies and chronic injuries, but now they were worried about surviving the night. The complete disconnect was crazy and it made Seungwoo’s head spin. Could this be a dream? Had the stress of the industry gotten to him? Had he lost his mind?

Slowly, they caught their breath. Hangyul began poking around the room. He discovered a mostly empty thermos of coffee in the mini-fridge and rolled it to Dohyon.

“Found a bathroom.”

Dohyon nodded and crawled out from under the table. He shuffled into the corner to relieve himself. The other boys looked away out of courtesy, but it seemed ridiculous to even care about such trivial things right now.

After that, the room filled with stunned silence. What was there to say? Any attempt to make casual conversation seemed absolutely absurd. Words felt cheap. Seungwoo was at a complete loss as to how to comfort them. He didn’t feel like a leader anymore. He felt like a child. He was terrified and he just wanted to go home. He wanted to see the rest of the people he loved. He wanted to know that they were okay. He wanted to confirm it with his own eyes.

He was too mentally exhausted to keep his mind from wandering. He thought of his biological family. He thought of his Victon family. He thought of the rest of X1. His consciousness conjured up a smiling image of… Yohan? Each face flashed through his mind with a sharp sting. His eyes burned and blurred with unshed tears, but he held them back, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. He needed to stay strong, if not for himself than for the others. If he fell apart now he’d be useless.

Eventually, Wooseok stood. Their eyes all followed him as he crossed the room to the windows and peeked through the dusty blinds.

“What’s out there?” Hangyul asked, moving to stand beside him. “Can you see anything?”

“Nothing,” he answered. “Like, absolutely nothing. No cars, no people…it’s like everyone just vanished. And it’s getting dark.”

Hangyul nudged him over, taking a look for himself.

“Huh. Weird.”

Wooseok simply blinked at him before elbowing him back out of the way.

“I don’t think we’re making it to the roof, but maybe I can still get some service from here.” He gently pulled up the blinds and then started searching for a latch on the window. He flicked the rusted metal tab open and slowly pushed out the glass. The window swung open with a low creak.

Seungwoo watched as Wooseok fished his phone out of his pocket and then started to angle his body to hang out of the open window as far as possible. Hangyul hovered close, probably ready to grab him at any moment if he leaned too far over.

“Wait. What the…” Wooseok stumbled back a bit from the wall and Seungwoo found himself immediately jumping to his feet, spurred into action by the alarm in Wooseok’s voice. 

Hangyul made it to the window first, but Seungwoo was right behind him. They both squished together, trying to get a look.

The setting sun was casting a blinding glare over everything and it took a moment for Seungwoo’s eyes to adjust and properly scan the street. Something off in the distance, on the opposite sidewalk, was shambling along. Two somethings? No, three. They were moving in bizarre, jerking motions, swinging their limbs around like limp logs of meat. One of them was bent at the waist in an unnatural way, it’s hips shifted completely out of line with the rest of its body.

“Fantastic,” Hangyul grumbled dryly.

None of them had actually thought that the nightmare was confined to this office building alone, but seeing such clear confirmation that things were indeed just as horrific on the outside was sobering. Hangyul exhaled a loud breath and shook his head. Seungwoo simply returned to the couch, his mind refusing to acknowledge what this might mean in terms of the bigger picture. Just how bad was this outbreak? How far did this reach? All of Seoul? All of Korea? All of Asia? Who was still on their side? Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dohyon and Hyeongjun shifting nervously towards the window - scared, but also probably curious.

“Hey, why don’t you two poke around and see if you can find any food. We need to keep our strength up.” Seungwoo gestured around the lounge. He hoped a distraction might help to calm their nerves a bit.

Wooseok readjusted his grip on his phone, but then he was right back at the window, leaning his slim body through the opening in a desperate attempt to find just one bar worth of service.

An hour later, the sun had set and the room was completely dark. Wooseok was still leaning against the wall, dangling his arm out the window with his phone clutched in his hand. Dohyon and Hyeongjun had managed to scrounge up the remains of a few half-eaten lunches from the mini-fridge and few packaged snacks from a cabinet below the tv. They divided the spoils among the group. They tried their best to talk normally while they ate their small, hodgepodge meal, but once they finished, the suffocating silence set back in again. They sat for awhile, lost in their own thoughts.

“I think we should call it a night,” Seungwoo announced. He’d been quietly mulling over their options, desperate to come up with a Plan B, now that their original idea of heading to the roof seemed impossible and deadly. For right now, it didn’t make sense to do anything. It was dark and they were all physically and mentally exhausted. They needed to at least attempt to sleep if they wanted to be in any shape to face what tomorrow might bring. “We’ll take turns keeping watch. I’ll stay up and do the first one.”

Wooseok pulled himself out of the window with a frustrated sigh, but nodded in agreement. He pulled the glass partially closed and left his phone situated carefully on the sill. Then he crossed the room and flopped down on the couch against the door, next to Seungwoo.

Dohyon and Hyeongjun shared the other couch, laying their heads against opposite armrests and situating the length of their bodies side by side. Hangyul took the floor near their couch, one arm angled up and resting on the cushions, hand gripping Dohyon’s tightly.

Seungwoo sat in the darkness listening to the rhythmic, steady breathing of his friends. He wasn’t sure how many of them were actually sleeping, given the circumstances, but at least they seemed to be resting. He pulled out his phone and looked at the screen.  _ 9:42pm. No service. _ The wallpaper background was a selfie of him, Yohan and Hangul making ridiculous faces, taken from the stage at KConn Thailand. Simpler times. The irony was that they really had stopped to appreciate those times. They knew the gift of being in X1, even with the controversies, and made sure to soak up every happy moment. For Seungwoo, this was a second chance and he wanted to remember and acknowledge every single experience. But even so, in light of the way things had so suddenly and horrifically changed, it still felt like he’d taken it for granted. Sure, he’d appreciated performing and meeting fans and winning awards, but he hadn’t fully appreciated sharing a bowl of instant ramen among 11 people in one hotel room or the feeling of utter exhaustion after a music video shoot. He hadn’t appreciated laughing or breathing or complaining over trivial things or walking around Seoul incognito. He’d overlooked the little things that simply made him human, in lieu of the bigger things that made him an idol.

Idly, he flicked open the photo album on his phone and began flipping through pictures.

A screenshot of his parents trying unsuccessfully to end a video call. A selfie of him and Byungchan by the Han River. Seungyoun throwing up the middle finger from across the restaurant table. Yohan smiling, seconds before his ice cream toppled out of the cone and onto the pavement. 

It felt surreal, looking at the faces of dozens of people he might never see again. People who filled his life and his heart to the brim with warmth and comfort. There were things he’d never told them. Things he’d thought he’d have plenty of time to share later. His chest ached with longing and grief. His breath caught in his throat, choking him. And then...

_ Zzzt. _

_ Zzzt. _

Out of the corner of his eye, Seungwoo saw a flash of movement as Wooseok noisily launched himself off the couch and across the room. Only then did his mind register the source of the sound.  _ Wooseok’s cell phone.  _ He jumped to his own feet and rubbed at his face, surprised to find his eyes and cheeks wet. He hadn’t realized he’d begun crying and he was thankful to be cloaked in darkness. The rest of the room slowly stirred, hearing the commotion. Carefully, Wooseok tapped at the phone, turning it on speaker, clearly afraid to move it and lose service.

“Hello? Hello?”

There was static and then…

“Well, hell! Who knew landlines would still be so useful?”

Wooseok let out a heavy, ragged breath. When he spoke, his voice was high-pitched and strained with emotion.

“Seungyoun? You’re alive? You’re…I’ve been trying to get through to you all day...”

“Same. God, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“Hey what about mine?” Hangyul called out from the floor.

“Yah! You idiot! You survived too? No way!”

“You doubted me?!”

There was a loud burst of static and Seungwoo cringed. The connection was already starting to cut out.

“--you--- guys-- we took--- station---”

Wooseok kneeled down and pressed against the wall, his face hovering closely above the phone.

“Say that again. Slower. You’re breaking up!”

“Where are you---.. We ---shelter--- Family Mart near Gwanghwamun Stati--- nine.”

Seungwoo had been standing there in a daze, but suddenly his brain seemed to flick on and he stepped forward towards the phone.

“We’ll come to you,” he said sternly, feeling all the eyes in the room snap towards him. “We’ll head there at dawn. We’re not far.”

“Countin’ on you, fearless leader. Be careful.”

“Are you all okay? Is everyone else still with you? Is-.” Seungwoo was cut off by the tri-tone of the call ending. He peeked over Wooseok’s head and looked down at the screen.  _ No Service. _

“Well, that’s that.” Hangyul laid back down flat on the floor, tucking his arms behind his head.

The silhouettes of Dohyon and Hyeongjun were perched on the edge of the couch, absorbing the conversation.

Seungwoo looked down at Wooseok who was holding position, still kneeling stiffly by the phone. The moonlight filtering in through the window reflected off his wide, glassy eyes, and Seungwoo recognized the mix of emotions there. Relief. Terror. Hope. They weren’t alone. The unspoken fear that they were somehow the soul survivors of this epic catastrophe had been debunked. And now they had a new plan.

  
  



	4. Dead and Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, the warnings are there for a reason.
> 
> I had hoped to get this chapter up earlier, but a busy weekend delayed my progress. Hopefully, the fact that it's double the length of the previous chapters will make it up to you!
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all of your feedback!

It was an open secret that Wooseok and Seungyoun were hooking up. Not to the public’s knowledge of course, but the members were all aware. It was obvious to anyone paying attention. They always seemed to gravitate towards each other, sharing quick glances and feather-light touches. When Wooseok was panicking and couldn’t find his glasses, somehow they always turned up in Seungyoun’s room. When Seungyoun was sneaking out to buy some snacks, it was always Wooseok who volunteered to accompany him. They always casually lingered behind, waiting for one another, and chose seats side by side in the van when they boarded for outings, tilting their heads together as they shared one set of airpods. In public, they kept it professional, but the group as a whole was always so pro-skinship and openly affectionate that there was really no way to separate what was platonic from what was romantic anyway.

At first, Seungwoo was uneasy about the development. As the leader, he felt that it was his responsibility to keep the group as stable and cohesive as possible and if things ever went south between them, it could easily disrupt the balance and create a divide. But Wooseok and Seungyoun weren’t new to the industry or coexisting in a group dynamic. They’d both been through a lot, having experienced their own set of struggles that came along with being in the spotlight. Seungwoo trusted them both fully to understand their situation and proceed carefully. He also realized that what he’d been feeling hadn’t actually been concern or doubt at all. It had been jealousy. Seungwoo had his own blossoming crush, but he held it close to his chest. The idea of acting on it or pursuing it frightened him more than anything had in his entire life.  _ More than anything had up until yesterday, of course. _ A tingle of regret was beginning to poke at his heart. The possibility of rejection and awkwardness seemed like a ridiculously small price to pay now. Subconsciously, he’d always assumed he had plenty of time - to either get over his feelings completely or to let them bloom into something he couldn’t keep ignoring. But now… everything had changed. He blinked away a set of dark thoughts.

As the first bit of dawning sunlight began to peek in through the windows, Seungwoo leaned his head back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Despite barely sleeping, he still hadn’t managed to formulate a concrete plan on how to get the group from point A to point B, where the rest of X1 was waiting. Not a plan that seemed safe, anyway. And for that reason, he was stalling. He knew he should start waking them, but then they’d be looking to him for answers and directions, of which he currently had none.

As planned, they’d all taken turns keeping watch over the course of the night. At first, they’d left Dohyon out of the rotation. It was easy to sometimes forget, but he was really just a kid and they couldn’t even begin to imagine how this was affecting him. Ever since they’d left the boardroom, he’d been extremely quiet and subdued. But, when he insisted on being included and shouldering some of the responsibility, they all agreed that he and Hyeongjun should take a watch together, to keep each other company. Seungwoo announced that he’d be taking both first and last watch and he said it with such stern authority that none of them questioned it, even though they looked hesitant.

The night passed without incident. There were no strange noises or attempts by undead businessmen to break into the lounge. Seungwoo doubted any of them got more than one or two restless hours of sleep at best, but it was unreasonable to expect anything else. They’d all simply have to hope pure adrenaline would be enough to fuel them for the day.

The way Seungwoo saw it, they had three options, all of them varying degrees of impossible. They needed to get down to the ground level. Option one was somehow climbing out through the window in this room. It would be a far drop from the second story, but not too far. If they could fashion some sort of rope, it just might work. The second option was making it to the elevator, prying open the doors and somehow descending the shaft. But that was something that only happened in action movies and was virtually unrealistic. It also assumed that the elevator car would be stuck above them and not blocking their way down. The third option, and perhaps the most terrifying, was attempting to navigate the stairwell again. They’d need to bring weapons and be prepared to fight. None of these seemed particularly appealing and all came with the potential risk of injury or death. It felt perversely cruel for him to have to make such heavy decisions. 

Seungwoo leaned over and gently nudged Wooseok awake. He was curled up into a ball, tucked into the corner of the opposite side of the couch. But it didn’t take much to rouse him and he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning,” he whispered dryly. He blinked a few times and squinted around the room. “Ah, still in hell.”

Seungwoo nodded and scooted across the couch, closer to Wooseok. He leaned his head against his friend’s shoulder and sighed. He’d always shared a special bond with Wooseok, having experienced very similar career trajectories. They both suffered with the same underlying guilt of not only leaving a group behind to join X1, but re-debuting in X1 over another one of said group’s members. They had leaned on each other heavily in the very beginning, struggling in a unique, yet shared way. Seungwoo didn’t have to be brave in front of Wooseok. He didn’t have to lie.

“I don’t know what we should do,” Seungwoo admitted, keeping his voice low so as not to wake the three sleeping on the other side of the room. “I don’t know how to get us out of here safely.”

“I don’t think there’s a right answer,” Wooseok whispered. “And I don’t think you need to decide that on your own.”

Seungwoo felt a tiny bit of weight lift from his shoulders. It had been Wooseok, after all, who had observantly suggested making their way to the roof to scope out the situation. Of course, an unexpected turn of events had caused a roadblock and made that plan impossible, but the initial idea had been sound and smart.

Admittedly, It wasn’t usually easy for Seungwoo to pass or share his burdens, but the stakes were abnormally high in this situation. He needed help. He needed this to be a joint decision so that if things went south he wouldn’t have to live with the knowledge that it had been his fault. He couldn’t handle that.

They sat quietly side by side for a few minutes longer. Sunlight peeked up over the window sill and bright rays of it slid in through the gaps in the blinds. Seungwoo sighed and clapped a hand on Wooseok’s knee before pushing himself up. Just the sound of the couch shifting was enough to make the boys across the room stir from their restless slumber.

Hangyul stretched his arms over his head and arched his back, eliciting a series of low cracking sounds from his spine. Hyeongjun and Dohyon’s eyes fluttered open and darted around the room, seeming disoriented.

“I gotta say, sleeping on the floor with the living dead just a few feet away was still somehow more restful than a night at the dorms with Seungyoun’s snoring,” Hangyul said, slowly pushing himself up off the ground.

“Seungyoun doesn’t snore,” Wooseok grumbled under his breath.

“Ah, well,” Hangyul tilted his head and grinned, “it comes from his bed, but I suppose that means  _ you  _ could actually be the culprit.”

Hyeongjun sleepily snorted and covered his face with his hands.

“I don’t snore either, you ass.” Wooseok glared from across the room, crossing his arms over his chest.

_ Some things just never change _ , Seungwoo thought to himself. But truthfully, the normalcy of their banter was nice. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that it was a typical morning and they were simply in a hotel room, preparing for a show later in the afternoon. He could pretend life made sense.

As they all got their bearings, Seungwoo handed out the leftover remaining food they’d managed to scavenge from around the lounge. As they quietly ate, sitting in a circle on the floor, he could feel all their eyes on him, expectantly, waiting for him to lead them just as he always had. Eventually, it was Wooseok who spoke up, saving him from the internal torment of not knowing what to say.

“We need to get out of the building.” Wooseok said. He paused and then added, “alive. And uninjured.”

“Well, the stairs are out.” Hyeongjun laughed nervously and glanced around at the other boys. When none of them immediately agreed, his eyes went wide. “Right? Right?”

“We can’t count anything out,” Wooseok said.

Hyeongjun instantly sprang to his feet, shaking his head wildly back and forth. His trembling hand was tightly clutching a package of Hello Panda cookies.

“No no nonono. Wooseok-hyung almost died in there. We can’t go back.”

“He didn’t almost die,” Hangyul countered, tugging gently on Hyeongjun’s leg. “Not on my watch.”

Hyeongjun’s eyes snapped to Seungwoo. They were filling with tears and desperation. Seungwoo could feel him begging through the stare. It made his chest feel heavy.

“Nothing is decided yet,” he said, offering a weak, reassuring smile. “We need to go over all of our options and pick the best one. As a team.”

Hyeongjun’s pale face went slack as he sunk back down to the floor. He gave a small nod and then wordlessly passed his bag of cookies to Dohyon.

“I do agree that the stairs should be a last resort,” Wooseok said, his voice wavering slightly. He too was clearly still shaken up by the last time. “Does anyone have other suggestions?”

“Out the window?” Hangyul gestured towards the windows with a small shrug. “We’re on the second floor, but maybe we could use something to help us climb down?”

“The opening is kind of tight,” Wooseok said with a sigh. “Hyeongjun and I could probably slip through, but Seungwoo and Dohyon are tall. And you’re… wide.”

“Yah!” Hangyul glared at him and tossed an empty water bottle at his head, which he easily ducked.

But, Wooseok was right. It was the type of window that swung out like a cabinet door and it would be difficult for the larger guys to easily climb out. But another idea had sparked in Seungwoo’s head. Silently, he stood up and walked over to the window. They watched as he pulled aside the blinds and then angled his body so he could lean through. Once he could see outside, he looked back and forth, studying the exterior of the building. There. That was it.

He pulled himself back out and turned to face the group, a half-smile of triumph spreading across his face.

“About five windows down,” he explained. “It’s right above the main entrance to the lobby. There’s an overhang covering the walkway leading to the doors. It’s right below a set of windows. There’s some decorative trees lining the walkway too. If we climb out those windows, we can drop down to the overhang. It’s a few feet at most. Then we can climb down one of the trees to make it to the ground.”

Almost immediately, Wooseok and Hangyul were on their feet, rushing to the window to verify Seungwoo’s observation. 

“Seems feasible,” Wooseok concurred, peeking out and studying the side of the building. “We’ll just have to make it down the hall to that room.”

“We should think ahead, too.” Seungwoo added, now feeling more confident. “Once we get outside, there’s no telling what we’ll find. Entrance 9 to Gwanghwamun Station is not far from here. Two blocks, maybe? We have to pass through the Plaza so we might want to consider stopping at the van and getting our stuff. Assuming it’s still parked there.”

Seungwoo had started considering a long term plan now. It had been extremely smart of Seungyoun and the others to hole up in a Family Mart, but it also worried him. That wasn’t a place they would’ve randomly stopped at en-route to Gwanghwamun Plaza for the SMUF. It meant at some point, they’d been on the run, seeking shelter from the effects of the outbreak. It was possible they hadn’t all made the trip.

It was painful to know how close they must’ve been to meeting up. They very rarely traveled separately, but Minhee was getting his roots touched up, Yohan had a doctor’s appointment to check on his ankle and Junho was finishing up some homework. At the time, it made sense to split up, but now Seungwoo wished he had insisted they wait and stay together. Would things be better somehow? Would the events of the day have played out differently?

He couldn’t focus on the ‘what ifs’ right now. The Family Mart was perfect for ensuring they had food and drink available to them for the foreseeable future, but their backpacks in the van had changes of clothes, Wooseok’s glasses, their phone chargers… things that might come in handy while they waited for help.

The other boys all nodded. Even Dohyon seemed to perk up a bit. After they finished their meal, Seungwoo did a thorough once over of the lounge, searching for anything that might possibly be of use, but it was barren, especially after they’d cleaned out the food and drink. With that, it was time to move. Now that they had a clear plan of action in place, Seungwoo was anxious to reach the other half of the group.

“Be quiet and alert,” he instructed, as Dohyon and Hangyul slid the couch away from the door. “Link hands like last time. Follow my lead.”

They all silently nodded, moving to form the same line they had back when they’d first left the boardroom. Seungwoo gripped Hyeonjun’s hand tightly in his much larger one and then slowly pulled the door open, just enough to peek his head through. He carefully surveyed the hallway, looking back and forth while holding his breath. He saw no movement, but he could hear a rhythmic, muffled banging sound coming from a few yards away.

He turned back and mouthed ‘all clear’ and then pulled the door open wide enough to slip through. He tugged a wide-eyed Hyeongjun along with him, leading the chain of boys out of the lounge.

Seungwoo kept pressed against the wall, inching slowly, but steadily down the hall as he tried to gauge the distance to the room where they would find their windows of escape. The banging sound got louder, but still had a muffled quality to it, like something large was repeatedly slamming against the other side of a wall. As they moved past the entrance to the stairwell, Seungwoo shuddered, realizing the sound was coming from the other side of the heavy door. Had one of those nightmare creatures been at it all night, trying unsuccessfully to follow after them? He was infinitely thankful that they had found another way out of the building. He gave Hyeongjun’s hand a squeeze, wordlessly relaying his relief.

They passed by three closed doors and at the fourth, Seungwoo held a hand up, signaling them to stop. If his calculations were correct, this should be where the windows above the overhang would be. With a deep breath, he reached out and gripped the doorknob with a sweaty palm. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. What if it was locked? Could they break it down? Could they risk making that much noise? He bit his bottom lip anxiously and twisted his wrist.

The knob turned easily, giving a soft click. Seungwoo said a silent thank you to the universe and pushed the door open just a crack. He leaned his head forward and peeked through, scanning inside the room.

It was a small office, crowded with three big desks and two tall filing cabinets. Papers were strewn everywhere and two of the large office chairs were overturned. Across the way, two large windows were set in the wall - the windows they were searching for. The room seemed safe.

Seungwoo ushered the boys inside and then followed after, pulling the door closed behind him. Almost immediately, Hangyul and Woosek began sliding one of the large desks over to barricade them in. Hyeongjun and Dohyon rushed over to the windows, pulling aside the blinds and looking outside.

“We can drop down easily!” Hyeongjun said, searching for the latch. “And the window slides up instead of opening out. We should all fit without a problem!”

“Good.” Seungwoo smiled and nodded. “Let’s all do a sweep of the room first. See if we can find anything useful.”

They immediately set to pillaging the room. Under different circumstances, the chaos might have been fun. They emptied the filing cabinets and pulled out all the desk drawers, flipping them over and dumping all the contents onto the floor. They searched the pockets of the jackets hanging on the coat rack in the corner. They pawed through the garbage cans. After ten minutes, they’d managed to collect three small snack packs of mixed nuts, two packages of mint gum, a pointed letter opener with a handle shaped like a snake, a handful of paperclips and a necktie. They shoved their spoils into their pockets, Seungwoo securing the letter opener between his belt and his pants.

There was nothing left to do. They stood around the window staring at each other. Despite the horrors contained within the building, it felt familiar now. Heading outside into the unknown was a terrifying prospect. Once they left, there was likely no turning back. They all seemed to be feeling the heaviness of the moment.

Seungwoo always had some encouraging words to offer when they were preparing to head on stage, but right now his mind was blank and gripped with fear. Anything he said would sound hollow and forced. He was unsure and scared and anxious. Pretending to be confident and reassuring them felt cheap. They deserved more than that. So instead, he once again laid out the plan and then nodded at Hangyul. Hangyul was strong and agile and so he’d volunteered to go first and figure out the best way to get down from the overhang. He took a step toward the window, but Wooseok’s arm shot out and grabbed him by the sleeve.

“Hey…”

Hangyul turned slightly and cocked an eyebrow.

“Uh,” Wooseok looked up at the ceiling and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Hyeongjun was right. Back in the stairwell, you probably did save my life. I never actually said thank you so… thank you.”

Hangyul immediately brushed him off, shaking his arm free, but the edges of his lips twitched downward with emotion.

“Ah, don’t do that,” he said, moving towards the window. “Don’t start getting all sentimental and saying your last words. I’m gonna need you to describe that kick  _ in detail _ to Yohan when we all meet up. Black belt, my ass.”

With that, Hangyul pushed one leg out the window and then ducked under the glass, sliding the rest of his body out the other side. Seungwoo tried to ignore the way hearing Yohan’s name said out loud made his breath catch in his throat.

The concrete overhang was only about three short feet from the window so Hangyul managed to drop down with ease. Seungwoo watched as he carefully walked the length of it, peering over and inspecting the trees that lined the edge. He reached out, shaking some branches, trying to find ones that could support their weight and act as a half-way point to the ground. Eventually, satisfied, he returned to the window and motioned for the rest of them to climb out.

From atop of the overhang, they could see down the street to the Plaza. Besides being eerily empty and quiet, nothing seemed particularly amiss. The three shambling creatures they’d seen off in the distance last night were nowhere to be found, but that didn’t mean they were necessarily safe. Seungwoo’s senses were heightened with adrenaline. Every rustle of leaves in the breeze caused his entire body to tense up. 

Hangyul directed them to a tree on the left side of the overhang. There was a thick branch about five feet down that they could drop onto. From there, the ground wasn’t far. Hangyul grinned and tossed them a thumbs up before dropping down to his stomach and sliding back off the overhang. His toes found the branch and he twisted around to quickly grab the trunk before easing himself down into a squatting position. He waved up at them and then grabbed the branch with both hands, lowering his body beneath it like a pull up bar before gently dropping down to the grass below.

Seungwoo’s heart started racing. Hangyul wasn’t far away, but he seemed dangerously separated from them and vulnerable. He gently nudged Dohyon forward, signaling for him to go next. Until they were all on the ground together, Seungwoo wouldn’t feel at ease.

One by one, they carefully maneuvered down the same way Hangyul had. Despite Seungwoo’s anxiety, nothing went awry. Dohyon’s hands slipped a bit as he lowered himself from the branch, but the small tumble left him uninjured. Within a few minutes, they were all on the ground level, glancing around the eerily empty street.

“The van should be halfway down the block,” Seungwoo whispered. “Behind the tents.”

The barricades and canvas tents were still set up for the SMUF just as they had been the morning before. The emptiness of the Plaza today created a weird, uncanny juxtaposition. 24 hours ago, it had been brimming with life and excitement, but it felt like years had passed since then.

They stuck close together as they walked down the street, all of their heads swiveling around to survey the surrounding area. Seungwoo could feel Hyeongjun’s fingers clutching the hem of the back of his shirt and he looked over his shoulder to offer a small smile. When he turned back around, he could see the bumper of their van sticking out into the street. As they got closer, more of the vehicle came into view. The driver’s side door was wide open. It sent an unsettling chill down Seungwoo’s spine.

When they were just a few feet away, he stopped them. For a few seconds, they simply stood there, watching the van and waiting to see any signs of movement from within. Nothing happened.

“Be careful,” Seungwoo whispered. “Gather the stuff quickly and then we move on.”

They all nodded and then inched closer in a pack. As they approached the open door, Seungwoo craned his neck to get a glimpse inside the van. It looked just as they had left it. Their backpacks and messenger bags were still sitting on the seats and a forgotten half-empty iced coffee sat in one of the cup holders. Everything seemed untouched. Cautiously, he gestured them forward.

They piled into the van quickly. Seungwoo was keenly aware of the how the action felt painfully familiar, yet so foreign. He wished with his whole heart that they were settling in to head back to the dorms or off to another event, playfully arguing over seating arrangements and tossing around snacks. He collapsed down into his usual spot and patted the seat next to him. Usually, Dongpyo claimed it, but yesterday, Hangyul had sat there. He sighed as he leaned forward and fetched his messenger bag from the floor. Around him, the other boys collected their things as well. Out of the corner of his eye, Seungwoo noticed movement outside the van window and his heart stopped, but it was just a flap from one of the white tents whipping around in the breeze.

“The manager put his bag in the trunk,” Hyeongjun said, weaving his way back to the front of the van. He was clutching his own purple backpack to his chest protectively. “There might be something useful in there.”

“Good thinking,” Hangyul agreed.

Hyeongjun nodded and gave a small smile before slipping back out the driver’s side door.

Again, something in Seungwoo’s peripheral vision caught his attention, and like before, it was just the flap of the nearby tent. Except what had been a plain white piece of canvas moments before was now streaked with crimson and black gore. Every hair on Seungwoo’s body stood on end.

“No,” he whispered, scrambling to get out of the seat.

“What?” Hangyul and Wooseok echoed, immediately noticing the look of terror etched across his face.

Seungwoo launched himself out of the van, hearing the commotion of the other boys following behind. He half-stumbled into the street, his tongue feeling heavy and dry in his mouth.

“H-hey, maybe we should leave the manager’s bag,” he said quietly, taking a few tentative steps forward.

“Really?” Hyeongjun’s head peeked around the back of the van and Seungwoo felt a wave of relief wash through him. His knees felt weak with it.

“Yeah, come on.” He turned away and gestured for Hyeongjun to follow with a wave of his hand.

There was a low, guttural moaning sound and then a blood-curdling scream. It sent Seungwoo’s heart plummeting sickly into his stomach. Quickly, he twisted back around, his sneaker slipping across the asphalt. He went down hard on his bad knee and sharp, stinging pain seared up his thigh, but he could barely feel it. The horrific sight that met his eyes blocked out everything else.

Hyeongjun was just a few feet away, near the back bumper of the van, but two grotesque, lumbering corpses were now clawing at him from behind. One’s head flopped sickeningly onto his shoulder and then sank it’s black teeth into his neck. Bright red blood sprayed out like a fountain, soaking Hyeongjun’s grey shirt. His eyes went impossibly wide, shimmering with terror and desperation. Under the weight of the undead bearing down on him, he went down to his knees, his body twitching as they gnawed at his flesh. 

Seungwoo immediately scrambled to his feet, one arm outstretched, fingers reaching for Hyeongjun’s small hand. He went to take a step, but suddenly the wind was knocked out of him and he found himself gasping for air. Hangyul had barreled into him, shoulder down and angled towards Seungwoo’s chest. It was like a football tackle, except instead of laying him out on the ground, he was practically lifting him up off his feet and carrying him backwards.

“Seungwoo-hyung, no. We have to go. We gotta run,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “You can’t help him now.”

Things had gone too smoothly. Wooseok’s brush with death in the stairwell seemed like it had happened eons ago. It was easy to pretend it had just been an absurd nightmare. Since then, it had been one success after another. Their plans had been executed flawlessly. Had they gotten too comfortable? Had they let their guard down? How could they have become so careless?

Hot tears blurred Seungwoo’s vision as he stumbled backwards, letting himself be guided by Hangyul. He felt Wooseok and Dohyon grab at the back of his shirt, tugging him along. Their voices were desperate and pleading, but muffled, drowned out by the sound of Seungwoo’s pulse pounding in his ears. Everything felt surreal. It was like he was floating away, being carried along weightlessly by the wind. Reality had torn at the seams and he was slipping into calming nothingness.

A loud, painful crack against his cheekbone snapped the world back into focus. Hangyul was standing in front of him, open palm hand raised. The other hand was balled up by Seungwoo’s throat, gripping a handful of his shirt.

“We need you to pull it together,” he pleaded, his voice shaking. “We need to go.”

Seungwoo tore his eyes away from the gruesome scene next to the van, though the simple action felt tremendously exhausting. Beside him, Dohyon was trembling, his face ashen. Wooseok was on his other side, tugging on his arm as silent tears rolled down his face. Seungwoo nodded and turned to run, a sob catching in his throat as they took off down the road, heading towards Entrance 9 to Gwanghwamun Station. 


	5. Drop Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have all been so lovely and I want to say thank for from the bottom of my heart for all of your comments and kudos!
> 
> Also, I know that some of this can be difficult to read for some (it's HARD TO WRITE when I'm so ATTACHED to all of them) so just as an FYI, when the fic is finished, I will add a spoiler note to the end of the very last chapter giving explicit warnings for when/where character death happens. So, if you're worried, just wait until the fic is marked completed and I will supply the necessary info so you can avoid or prepare for those moments!
> 
> Now on to the next chapter...

  
Seungwoo wanted desperately to look back, but the numbing shock of the moment was wearing off and cold, gripping fear was setting in. Self-preservation told him that he absolutely had to keep moving. White hot pain shot through his knee with every flex of his leg muscles and so he tried to focus his attention on the sound of their feet hitting the pavement to keep himself distracted.  
  
_The sound._  
  
He suddenly became keenly aware that they were making quite a bit of noise and he skidded to a stop, grabbing the back of Wooseok’s shirt. Hangyul and Dohyon were right behind him, so he waved his other arm out, signaling for them to halt as well.  
  
Back at the van, they’d screwed up in a huge, unforgivable way. For one moment, they’d been careless. For one instant, they’d let Hyeongjun venture a few feet away on his own. It had cost his life. Seungwoo refused to let an avoidable mistake like that happen again. He wasn’t yet sure he could bear the one that had already been made, let alone a second. They’d gotten caught up in fleeing, preoccupied by their grief, but they couldn’t afford to be reckless. That much had been made abundantly clear. They needed to tread carefully.  
  
They stood in the street for a moment, just staring at each other, chests rising and falling heavily as they tried to catch their breath. There were no words that could properly convey the depth of their current feelings and filling the silence just for the sake of it seemed both dangerous and disrespectful to Hyeongjun. The reality of the past ten minutes settled in around them.  
  
Dohyon collapsed down onto the pavement, suddenly seemingly unable to carry the weight of his despair. Wooseok stumbled a few steps away and vomited into the gutter. Hangyul kept turning in place, scanning their surroundings with an intense focus, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he tried to keep his emotions in check. Seungwoo felt empty. His insides felt raw. He purposely shifted his weight to his bad leg, leaning into the agony as pain seared through his knee. Whether it was some twisted form of self-punishment or simply a way to keep him from slipping out of reality again, he wasn’t sure. He wanted to yell. He wanted to curse. He wanted to kick and punch and cry. He wanted to lay down in the street and succumb to the nightmare.  
  
Wooseok returned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He leaned down and started hoisting Dohyon to his feet. Again, words were unnecessary. They all knew they needed to continue on. The longer they lingered vulnerably out in the open, the greater the chance for more tragedy. They weren’t far from Entrance 9 to Gwanghwamun Station, and right above it would be the Family Mart they so desperately wanted to reach.  
  
They started walking again, this time wordlessly linking hands. Whether it was for safety or for comfort Seungwoo wasn’t quite sure. The sun shone brightly down, bathing them in warm light and casting a long chain of their shadows across the pavement. The cheery normalcy of it seemed to mock them mercilessly.  
  
They all kept careful watch of their surroundings, peering around abandoned cars and gingerly creeping past dark recesses in the buildings’ exteriors. It wasn’t long before the wide ramp leading down into Gwanghwamun Station came into view, just ahead and to their left. Hangyul pointed it out, though with how on edge they all were it was unlikely any of them hadn’t noticed it. They exchanged tiny, somber nods, the triumph of closing in on their destination greatly overshadowed by their immense loss.  
  
They kept a wide berth, circling around the entrance to the station. Almost immediately, Seungwoo realized that it had been an extremely smart decision. Peering down the ramp into the station, it appeared as though it was filled with a dark, swirling sea. The inky blackness seemed to ebb and flow like storm tormented waters. It was like the shadow itself had solidified into an amorphous, undulating mass. But as he continued to stare down into the station, beneath the overhang of the entrance, he realized that it was bodies. Hundreds of jerking, writhing bodies, packed together like sardines. Not quite living, not quite corpses - a horde of the undead had congregated below the street, crowding the subway. If he listened closely, he could hear sick slopping sounds and the echo of low gurgling groans.  
  
Seungwoo’s blood turned ice cold and he froze, unable to move. It didn’t appear that they’d been spotted, but that could change at any moment. The top of the ramp’s decline was about 60 feet away, on the opposite side of the street, but Seungwoo had no idea how fast these creatures could advance on them. The ones they’d run into in the stairwell had seemed rather slow and unstable, but that was an extremely small and unreliable sample size. The two that had attacked Hyeongjun had obviously managed to be fast and quiet enough to sneak up behind him.  
  
Seungwoo shuddered, pulling Wooseok’s hand back to halt the rest of the chain. They stopped and followed his gaze, squinting into the darkness the same way he had. Wooseok looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, obviously at a disadvantage with his poor eyesight, but Hangyul and Dohyon’s eyes went wide with fear and understanding.  
  
Seungwoo wanted desperately to relay information and verbally lay out a plan, but it was far too risky. Even just the idea of moving too suddenly and drawing attention to themselves sent a paralyzing trickle of fear down his spine. As X1, they were finely in tune with each other. They shared a connection that often didn’t require words or explanations. They simply existed as a cohesive unit, an innate understanding weaving them together and bonding them as a family, more than just a simple music group. Seungwoo would have to hope that right now that would be enough.  
  
On the far side of the ramp there was a small set of concrete steps that led to the street above the station. From his current vantage point, Seungwoo could see a line of side-by-side storefronts and a small fried chicken restaurant. The Family Mart was close, probably just out of view on the same road. Would speed or caution be more valuable? Should they try to slowly creep by or would it be more effective to make a mad dash for it? Would it make sense to double back and take the long way around? Seungwoo didn’t trust himself to make the right decision. He hesitated, waiting for someone else to take the lead, but they all stood there, frozen in place, watching him. The pressure and responsibility felt suffocating. He was qualified to count down their X1 greeting, but he certainly wasn’t qualified for whatever the hell this nightmare position was. What if he screwed up again?  
  
Seungwoo’s brain seemed to short out under the stress and his body automatically took over. His limbs went slack and his shoulders hunched inward. He started to shamble slowly forward, slightly dragging his injured leg behind him. It felt ridiculous to move in such a way, but it wasn’t that much stranger than some of the awkward choreography they’d been forced to do. It certainly looked crazy, but it seemed like the safest possible option.  
  
The crowd of undead didn’t seem to be attacking each other or acting aggressively towards their own kind down within the station. Maybe if they disguised their movements to match the undead, they could inconspicuously slip by without being noticed. Seungwoo was sure he’d seen that tactic used in a movie before and it seemed like as good a plan as any.  
  
Almost immediately, the other boys caught on. Hangyul nudged Dohyon and nodded before letting his own arms go slack, twitching his head side to side as he followed after Seungwoo. Wooseok did the same, jerking his chest forward with each laboured step. An obnoxious, inappropriate giggle rose up from Seungwoo’s throat as he randomly imagined how the other half of X1 would react if they could see them now. What would Hyeongjun say if he could see their bizarre faux-zombie parade marching down the streets of Seoul? Seungwoo swallowed the laughter down, recognizing that he was toeing his mental breaking point. Grief, fear and exhaustion had worn his sensibility thin and he was completely sure that the only thing holding him together right now was the desperate need to get Wooseok, Dohyon and Hangyul to safety.  
  
Just as Seungwoo had hoped, their movements went undetected as far as he could tell. None of the undead moved passed the line of shade created by the station entrance’s overhang. He wondered if that was a conscious choice or just coincidence. There had been no sunlight in the stairwell and the tents set up for SMUF near the van had provided ample shade. It was possible the zombies were avoiding the natural light. He filed the observation into the back of his mind for later as they continued on with their macabre charade.  
  
Without incident, they made it to the foot of the concrete steps, but Seungwoo refused to let himself feel relief. Success had made him relaxed and careless back at the van and he would never ever forget that. The other boys, however, exchanged timid smiles and exhaled quiet, heavy breaths. But there was no time for celebration. Seungwoo signaled for Wooseok to watch behind them while he led them slowly up the stairs, crouched low. His knee protested as they ascended, sharp daggers of pain stabbing at the joint, but he didn’t care.  
  
As he reached the top step, one of the boys grabbed at the back of his shirt. The familiar tugging sensation caused his heart to ache, like someone had placed a red hot coal in his chest. His subconscious had automatically connected the feeling to Hyeongjun, who was often like his shadow, clinging to the hems of his clothing when he was anxious or nervous backstage before a performance. Longing bubbled up like bile in Seungwoo’s throat as he turned his head, finding Dohyon looking back at him instead of Hyeongjun.  
  
But Dohyon was smiling and that was something Seungwoo hadn’t seen in almost two days. The younger boy simply lifted his arm and pointed down the road. Seungwoo followed his finger, looking in the direction he was gesturing, and immediately saw it.  
  
_The Family Mart._  
  
Seungwoo from an hour ago would’ve made a mistake. He would’ve been distracted by joy and preoccupied by the view of the end goal. He would’ve lost his focus in favor of savoring the sweet, warm comfort of triumph. But not now. Not anymore.  
  
And so, Seungwoo instantly realized that the tall wall of storefronts was casting the entire street in shadow, just as his ears picked up a set of guttural, anguished moaning sounds. The sudden presence of a sharp, acrid stench of decay made his eyes water. Out from the fried chicken shop lumbered a tangle of three undead. Their sallow, rotting skin hung off their skulls like dirty, wet facemasks. Their jaws were dislocated, leaving their black tongues lolling around and blood-stained teeth bare. At first, their gait was uneven and sloppy, but as they stumbled out onto the sidewalk and caught notice of the boys, their legs stiffened and balanced their broken bodies. Their necks twisted unnaturally and sunken, milky eyes stared mindlessly back at Seungwoo. Immediately and innately, he realized that these were not like the sluggish, unsteady ones they’d encountered in the stairwell.  
  
“Run,” he hissed. The pretense of caution and quiet was gone. “Run!”  
  
He shoved Dohyon forward, in the direction of the Family Mart, just as the corpses began shambling towards them, grotesque rotting arms raised and broken, fleshless fingers outstretched.  
  
“Go!!” he yelled, pushing Hangyul and Wooseok in front of him. He alone would take up the rear. Being the leader didn’t always mean taking the lead and this time he was going to protect them, no matter the cost.  
  
Again, he was keenly aware of their sneakers slapping noisily against the pavement, but this time it didn’t matter. Seungwoo’s heart felt like it was in his mouth, choking him and cutting off the supply of oxygen to his lungs. He could hear a mix of Wooseok shouting and Hangyul cursing, but it was drowned out by the inhuman, tortured groaning coming from behind him. The pain in his knee was deep and hot, as though the bones themselves were on fire, smoldering beneath his flesh. He knew he had to move faster, but the gap between himself and Hangyul was only widening.  
  
He glanced over his shoulder. One of the undead had fallen far behind, but the other two were staggering along at an even pace. Brown, sticky liquid dripped from their open maws as they pursued their prey. Seungwoo faced back around, his chest burning as though his lungs were filling with saltwater.  
  
Ahead of him, Dohyon reached the door of the Family Mart first, followed close behind by Wooseok. Seungwoo watched as they immediately began pounding their fists wildly against the glass, shouting at the top of their lungs for help. The moment seemed to stretch on for hours, each ticking second suspended like a drawn out music note. Hangyul caught up to them just as the door opened, a set of human arms reaching out to pull them inside.  
  
_They were safe._  
  
As if on cue, Seungwoo’s knee finally gave out and he pitched forward onto the street, his hands splaying out to catch his fall and skidding painfully across the asphalt. He sucked in a large breath and rolled over, laying on the ground and staring up into the blue, cloudless sky as his knee screamed in agony. It was strange, the way he didn’t feel afraid. Knowing that the others had made it, he trusted Seungyoun to take over and carry on as the leader. He knew he’d work just as hard to ensure they all survived, perhaps succeeding at it even better than Seungwoo had.  
  
The hoarse, horrific moans got louder as the undead closed in and Seungwoo shut his eyes. Soon, the nightmare would be over. Behind his dark lids, he saw a sea of people filling the seats of a domed stadium. He was on stage, a bouncing Hyeongjun standing beside him and grinning wide as a chorus of chants calling for X1 echoed out from the crowd. He heard Yohan’s familiar voice, calling to him from backstage. It was high-pitched and urgent.  
  
“Get the fuck up!”  
  
_Get the fuck up?_  
  
Seungwoo’s eyes flew open just as the crunching sound of metal against bone rang through his ears. Standing on the street in front of him, wielding a thick, copper pipe was Yohan. And he’d just knocked the head clear off one of the encroaching undead, the rest of its body crumpling sickly to the ground. The other one lunged forward and Yohan reared back, ready to take another swing.  
  
“Really thought here was a good place for a rest, huh?”  
  
Behind him, Hangyul and Seungyoun were grabbing under his shoulders and dragging him backwards towards the door of the Family Mart. Off in the distance, Seungwoo could see a horde of undead shambling down the street, probably drawn out by the loud commotion. There was another deafening _thwack_ as Yohan’s pipe connected with the cheek of the other zombie that had pursued them, sending it stumbling backwards on twisted, unsteady legs.  
  
“Ay! Let’s go slugger,” Seungyoun called out.  
  
Yohan turned and nodded, giving Seungwoo a small, but radiant smile that instantly caused raw hot tears to spring to his eyes. With strained grunts, Seungyoun and Hangyul heaved him through the door and over the threshold into the Family Mart with Yohan following close behind. The glass door shut and Seungwoo was vaguely aware of something wide and heavy being slid in front of it. The buzz of voices filled his ears and familiar silhouettes crowded his peripheral vision.  
  
And then he blacked out.  
  



	6. Dead Weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for all your feedback and comments. I love reading all of them so much and seeing your reactions. I still have to go reply to some of you from last chapter, but I figured you'd prefer me getting this up as soon as possible!
> 
> Shout out to mindglitch, dannie, and the X1 Hag GC - people I'm super glad to have gotten to know through X1.
> 
> For those of you into this type of thing, this was written heavily inspired by the beautiful track "The Love that Binds Us" from the Violet Evergarden OST (aka I put it on repeat to write the chapter).  
https://youtu.be/4aWsDC5iHxU
> 
> (─‿‿─)

Seungwoo was awoken by the trickle of something cold running down his calf.

There was a split second where that was the sole sensation his brain zoned in on, but then the overwhelming feeling of pain rolled in, like a giant wave crashing into his chest and knocking him off his feet. It felt as though he’d been run over by a semi-truck. Every muscle in his entire body was stiff and aching. The palms of his hands stung with a tender rawness. His head throbbed like it was being squeezed tightly in a vise. And of course, the pain in his knee was excruciating, feeling as though his bones were being ground together to dust beneath his skin. He bobbed in and out of consciousness for a minute, completely unaware of his surroundings. Where was he? What was the last thing he remembered? As he started to get his bearings and fragments of his most recent memories started to filter back in, he also became vaguely aware of something warm pressed into his side.

His eyelids felt ridiculously heavy and it took a markedly conscious effort to pry them open. He was immediately blinded by bright tubes of fluorescent lighting that made his skull feel like it might split open down the middle. He blinked a few times, trying to help his eyes to adjust. Slowly, his vision focused, but his surroundings were still mostly warped and distorted. He tried to make sense out of the blurred, colorful blobs around him. 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

He turned his head towards a familiar voice and squinted.

Sitting with his back against a rack of magazines was a disheveled Seungyoun. Curled up the floor with his head resting on Seungyoun’s lap was a sleeping, cat-like Wooseok. Seeing his friends, Seungwoo felt his heart lift in his chest and the pain radiating through his body ebbed for a moment. With a groan, he propped himself up onto his elbows.

“It’s good to see you too,” he whispered, his hoarse voice cracking with genuine emotion.

The horrific memories of how he’d gotten here materialized in his mind. He remembered that he was in a Family Mart with some combination of the members of X1; that he’d journeyed here from Gwanghwamun Plaza, trying to avoid the dead that now roamed the earth. Hyeongjun had been lost. He’d be dead himself if it hadn’t been for Hangyul and Seungyoun and… Yohan.

Seungwoo looked down, noticing the source of the warmth burrowing into his side. Dongpyo was nestled next to him in a ball, sleeping soundly, his small chest rising and falling in static rhythm. Seungwoo felt his throat constrict, his whole heart filling with affection. He wanted to reach out and ruffle his hair or pull him into a tight hug, but he looked peaceful. There would be time for reunions later. It felt wrong to disturb him.

His eyes continued down, searching for what had originally awakened him. Immediately, he noticed that the leg of his pants was rolled up and a bag of half-melted ice was laid across his bare, bad knee. Cold rivulets of condensation were rolling down his skin and pooling on the tile floor beneath his calf. He reached out tentatively to move it.

“I wouldn’t,” Seungyoun cautioned. “It’s pretty bad.”

Seungwoo snorted humorlessly and snatched up the wet bag of ice slivers and water. Seungyoun didn’t know the things Seungwoo had seen. Whatever state his leg was in would be incomparable to the sight of a bloodied, terrified Hyeongjun reaching out to him desperately for help. That horror was permanently imprinted in his mind and few things would ever compare.

Beneath the ice, Seungwoo’s knee was triple its normal size and covered in blooms of dark purple and green blotches. There was a thick, red knot bubbling out from beneath his knee cap. He stared down at it, feeling nothing. He knew he should be alarmed, if not for himself than for how he might hold back the rest of the group because of this, but he just couldn’t seem to muster up the energy to care. Everything felt surreal.

“You need to wrap it.”

Seungwoo’s eyes snapped up, meeting Yohan’s. He’d come around the corner and was now standing over Seungwoo with his arms crossed over his chest and a stick of dried squid hanging out from between his lips.

“When I hurt my foot, the doctor said wrapping it was really important. How are your hands?”

Wordlessly, Seungwoo flipped one hand over and stared down at it dumbly, seeing the bright pink streaks of torn skin. His palm was covered in road rash. Judging by the dull sting he could feel in the other hand, he assumed it was sliced up in the same exact way without even having to look.

“Yohan picked all the asphalt out of the cuts and disinfected them. I’m pretty sure you were knocked out the entire time though,” Seungyoun said. He was looking down at Wooseok and not directly at Seungwoo when he added, “we were all pretty worried about you. You were pretty messed up. You’ve been out for like an entire day.”

Seungwoo swallowed down a lump in his throat and nodded. It felt disorienting to know he’d been unconscious for that long. He knew he should try to reassure them and say that he was okay or at the very least thank you, but he couldn’t get the words out. Saying he was fine even when he wasn’t usually came naturally to him. Shouldering his pain with a smile and a dismissive hand wave was commonplace. But too much had happened. Pretending he was unaffected would invalidate the things they’d been through and cheapen their losses.

“Are you…? Is everyone…” Seungwoo pushed himself all the way up into a sitting position and glanced around, surveying the immediate area and then looking pointedly into each of their faces.

Seungyoun pressed his lips together into a tight line and gave a curt shake of his head, understanding his question even though he hadn’t finished it.

Yohan sighed and stared down at the ground, avoiding his eyes.

“Who?” Seungwoo asked, his voice barely audible. A wave of watery nausea crept up his throat and the edges of his vision grew dark, like he was looking down a tunnel. His head swam, but he balled his hands into fists, the sharp pain of it anchoring him to reality. 

Seungyoun tilted his chin back and exhaled, staring up at the ceiling and blinking back tears.

When neither of them offered more of an explanation, a spark of anger ignited in his center. He needed to know. He needed to hear the truth. Every single second he spent suspended in the unknown fanned the flame and it billowed up, burning him from the inside. The cruelty of this reality was twisting his grief into rage. What had they done to deserve this? This was supposed to be the happiest time of their lives, so why did everything have to fall apart so catastrophically? Why were they being punished so harshly?

“Who?!” Seungwoo demanded, shouting now. His eyes flashed with cold fury and his entire body shook. All of the muscles in his body tightened causing the pain in his knee to flare up excruciatingly. Both Dongpyo and Wooseok started to stir, woken up by the commotion.

“Junho. Minhee.” Yohan’s voice trembled as he spoke slowly, enunciating his words. He stared evenly at Seungwoo as he said their names, unblinking. “Eunsang.”

“They’re… How? No...” 

Yohan’s form became abstract, rippling and blurring as Seungwoo’s eyes welled with hot tears that distorted his vision. The anger that was momentarily holding back his sadness broke, like a weakened dam, letting his sorrow flow freely. His chest instantly tightened and he couldn’t get a full breath. The world felt like it was spinning away from him. He dug his nails into the wounded flesh of his palms, desperate to wake himself from the never ending nightmare.

“No.”

It was Dongpyo’s small voice that reeled him back in and re-centered him. The younger boy was awake now and sitting up. He reached out a hand to gently pat Seungwoo’s shoulder, offering a comforting smile, and shook his head.

“We just got separated is all. They’re alive. They made it somewhere safe too. I know it.”

Seungwoo made a strange choking sound in his throat. After everything he’d been through and with everything he was still going through, seeing Dongpyo’s smiling face sent a rush of emotions slamming into him. It took his breath away. The depth of their relationship was unfathomable. The bond they’d created during their time on Produce X 101 had laid the foundation for a profound and unbreakable friendship and in many ways, Dongpyo was the little brother Seungwoo had never had. They were family. The direct confirmation that Dongpyo was alive and safe hit Seungwoo in a way he couldn’t have anticipated. 

Seungwoo threw himself into Dongpyo, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger boy with such intensity he was sure it was suffocating him, but he couldn’t stop himself. His hands clutched Dongpyo’s shirt, balling into fists around the soft cloth and pulling him closer. He buried his face into Dongpyo’s shoulder and for the first time, he sobbed openly. They were loud, uncontrollable, wounded sobs that filled the silence of the Family Mart and shook his entire body. Dongpyo simply rubbed circles against his hyung’s back and waited, letting his unrestrained despair spill forth. Without saying a word, he reached into Seungwoo’s hollowness and held him steady.

Seungwoo was vaguely aware that he should feel embarrassed; that it was his duty to hold himself together and demonstrate a strong, unwavering front as their leader and the oldest member of the group. He was cognizant of the fact that he was soaking Dongpyo’s shirt in his deluge of salty tears and watery snot. He knew that succumbing to his grief wouldn’t change or help their reality and this uninhibited display of emotion would likely make it more difficult for him to pull himself back together. But it was insurpressable at this point. Those thoughts and worries were trivial whispers compared to the bitter, biting words that shouted loudly in his head. Was he responsible for letting the group split up in the first place? Was he responsible for the fates of Eunsang and Junho and Minhee? Had his carelessness and lack of foresight led to Hyeongjun’s merciless death? Did he deserve to look into the warm faces of Seungyoun and Wooseok and Hangyul and Dohyon and Dongpyo and Yohan and feel such relief and joy? Could he live with himself if he never got the answers to these questions?

Seungwoo wasn’t sure exactly how long the anguish poured out of him like an open sieve. He cried until his face was raw and chapped. He cried until his body was completely empty of excess moisture and no more actual tears could spring forth. He cried until his throat ached as though he’d swallowed sandpaper and the soft flesh around his eyes burned and swelled. Once he had completely exhausted himself, he simply passed out like that; draped across Dongpyo’s lap with his face buried into his damp chest, unable to carry on.

* * *

For a second time, Seungwoo awoke lying in the middle of the Family Mart feeling absolutely wrecked. However, he was getting used to it now and he was able to get his bearings much more swiftly than before. This time, the shop was mostly dark, though the glow of moonlight was streaming in through the wide front wall of windows and helping to create a low level of visibility. Like last time, Dongpyo was curled up sleeping next to him. Across the way, Wooseok and Seungyoun were knocked out side by side, sharing a large bag of uncooked rice as a pillow, their arms linked tightly around each other. He could see the silhouettes of the other boys a little further down the aisle. Automatically, he started doing a mental head-count, out of habit, but he cut himself off. He wouldn’t find his 10. Not today.

Clenching his jaw against the pain, he started pushing himself up off the floor. He tried his best to coddle his bad knee but it was impossible to keep it completely immobile. Every tiny flex felt like barbed daggers being stabbed into the bone. His earlier emotional outburst had left him with flu-like symptoms and despite having slept, deep-seated exhaustion still laced every muscle. But he needed to go to the bathroom.

He shambled his way down the aisle, leaning heavily on the shelves to brace himself and help support some of his weight. The door marked with the restroom symbol wasn’t far, but the journey felt like an epic trek. When he finally reached out for the doorknob, sweat was rolling down his forehead.

He entered the bathroom and flicked on the light, squinting against the sudden harshness of it. He took a moment to let his eyes adjust and then hobbled over to the urinal to relieve himself. When he was finished, he limped over to the sink, instantly shocked by the reflection staring back at him in the dirty wall-mounted mirror. It was him, but not him. It was like looking at a version of himself that had an instagram filter layered over it. He reached up and pressed his fingertips into his cheeks and chin, poking at the tender, blotchy skin of his face. With a sigh, he dropped his hands and turned on the faucet, staring down blankly into the sink as the water swirled around the drain.

There was a soft knock at the bathroom door and then it slowly opened just a crack.

"Hey, um… can I come in?”

It was a timid, but warm voice and Seungwoo instantly recognized it as Yohan’s. He turned off the water and cleared his throat. Just a few days ago, this potential interaction would have sent his heart racing with anticipation and innocent anxiousness, but in this current moment he just felt numb and tired. He turned around.

“Yeah, sure.”

Yohan quickly slipped inside and closed the door quietly behind him, leaning back against it with a sigh. He reached out and flicked off the light switch, plunging them into darkness.

“Seungyoun says we shouldn’t use too much electricity. Apparently this place is running on a back-up generator right now, probably a fail-safe to keep all the refrigerated food from going bad in the case of a temporary blackout. But it won’t last long.”

Seungwoo nodded, but he doubted Yohan could see the gesture in the dark. A stretch of silence filled the small space, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Sorry, did you need to use the bathroom?” Seungwoo asked, his eyes beginning to adjust and Yohan’s form coming into view, still leaned back against the door.

“No. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Seungwoo took a moment of self-evaluation. Mentally and physically, he was in absolute shambles. It felt like he was inhabiting a complete stranger’s body. Everything hurt and ached and his mind was a cesspool of self-doubt and loathing. But, he was alive. He was breathing and that was an accomplishment in and of itself. He was still here.

“I’m okay,” he answered. It was mostly true, in a relative way.

“Right, well, you didn’t seem okay, so I just thought I would ask. It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know.”

The conversation was ridiculous, but it matched the current state of things. The earth had fallen into hell and yet here they were, dancing around their words in a Family Mart bathroom while the dead roamed around outside. It felt familiar in that Yohan often checked up on Seungwoo, worried that he might be shouldering too much responsibility and pressure, but it was absolutely foreign because those burdens were usually things like practicing too hard or staying up too late giving out advice, not potentially being the cause of a beloved young friend’s death or having a complete mental breakdown on the floor next to a rack of flavored meat sticks and squid snacks. But Seungwoo realized that just because the world changed overnight didn’t mean they had. Their dynamic was still the same. They were still the same. Yohan was always reaching out, asking him to share some of his troubles, but he never embraced the opportunity. Maybe for once, he didn’t have to endure everything all alone.

“I’m not okay,” he admitted. “How could any of us be okay? I-...” he paused, choking on the heaviness of his words. “I was careless. I let Hyeongjun go out on his own and I should’ve known better. I sat back when we decided to arrive at SMUF separately when I should’ve demanded we stay together. You guys made me the leader because you trusted me to make the right decisions and I fucked up. I...”

“No,” Yohan interrupted. There was a loud banging sound, like he’d knocked his fist back against the door. “No. That’s _ not _ why we made you the leader. We chose you as the leader because we trusted you to make the _ best _decisions that you could. To support us and keeps us from going astray. You’ve done all of those things. Wooseok and Hangyul told us everything that happened. You did your best. You lead us back together. You gave them all their very best chance. Even Hyeongjun.”

Seungwoo sighed heavily and his mouth went dry. He wasn’t sure if he truly believed Yohan’s words, but he realized that they’d been something he’d desperately wanted to hear. He bit his bottom lip and let his chin fall to his chest, his bangs flopping down over his eyes.

“You were out there,” Yohan continued. “You saw how many of those things there were and how few of us. You did well, Seungwoo-hyung. You did good.”

Seungwoo’s throat constricted and a little bit of the crushing weight he was carrying lifted. His heart pulsed with a tiny pump of warmth and the shell of numbness encasing him began to crack. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t very good at receiving praise or being singled out for compliments. Yohan’s words didn’t instantly fix him or renew his confidence, but they made the internal torment slightly more bearable and for that, he was thankful. He realized there were still a few things to be grateful for.

“Thank you for being alive,” he said quietly. “_ We _did good.”

Yohan gave a small laugh in acknowledgement and then there was silence.

Seungwoo remembered sitting on the leather couch in the lounge of that office building not long ago, scrolling through the photos on his phone and thinking about lost time and the things he regretted not saying earlier. He could feel the ghost of the fear that Yohan was dead and they would never see each other again. He thought about Seungyoun and Wooseok, sleeping side by side in the aisle of a Family Mart, likely finding comfort in the simple presence of one another, holding each other together even while everything else was falling apart. Everything was so incredibly and thoroughly fucked right now and at any moment it could get worse. Everything was expendable. He’d spent so much of his life holding back his emotions and silently carrying on with a facade of calmness and strength. Every now and then, it got the best of him and tiny trickles would leak out, like that time on stage during their Show-Con debut, but those moments were fleeting and few. Yesterday, his entire iron wall had crumbled under the weight of his struggles and it seemed he hadn’t yet found the fortitude to rebuild it.

“I had... have... _ feelings _ for you.” The words tumbled out of Seungwoo’s mouth and he felt his face instantly flush. He was thankful that they were shrouded in darkness and that he was hidden. He wasn’t sure the timing of this was right (in fact, he was pretty sure it was totally wrong), but they weren’t guaranteed a 'later.' And, he wasn’t done. Now that it was out there, rushing past the floodgates, it was impossible to keep the whole truth from flowing out. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this right now and I know it sounds silly to say it like that. I always imagined saying it in a cool way, if I was ever going to say it at all. I don’t feel very cool right now, but... one of us might die at any moment so…”

Seungwoo laughed dryly and winced when he reflexively shifted some weight onto his bad leg as he fidgeted uncomfortably. They were already living in the worst case scenario, but he couldn’t help feeling shy. He’d never confessed to anyone before and even though this was the furthest thing from what he’d ever imagined it being like, it still felt significant. If his life was going to end soon, he was glad to have experienced this coming of age moment of normalcy.

At first, Yohan didn’t say anything. He stayed pressed against the door, completely still. Seungwoo couldn’t see his expression in the darkness, but it was better that way. He felt awkward enough.

But then his shadowed silhouette was moving closer, quickly. Before Seungwoo could draw a breath, Yohan was up to him, just inches away. He automatically took half a step back, but his body was trapped against the sink, stopping him for retreating. Seungwoo’s heart drummed in his chest and every hair on his arms stood on end. Yohan leaned in and… his knee knocked lightly into Seungwoo’s twisted, swollen one. Seungwoo hissed and winced, doubling over slightly as he waited for the ripples of pain to subside.

But there was laughter.

_His own._

His shoulders shook with it. Yohan’s familiar nervous giggling joined in, the two sounds mixing together like a beautiful harmony. It was the sound Seungwoo had hoped to hear if he ever worked up the courage to tell Yohan how he felt. It was warm and inviting and joyful. He could cry from the way it filled his desolate, empty chest, but he was really damn tired of crying. So instead, he leaned in, grabbing Yohan’s face with trembling hands, and kissed him.

Yohan’s lips were soft and earnest and comforting. They pushed back, returning the gesture. The hellscape melted away. For a moment, nothing else existed and nothing else mattered. This was a tiny blip of a victory at a time when they’d only experienced a devastating string of failures. The rush of it felt incredible. Tragedy had made them bolder than they’d ever been before.

Yohan’s fumbling hands went to Seungwoo’s belt and started undoing the buckle, but he didn’t pull back or break the kiss. Seungwoo could barely take a breath, but he didn’t care; he only cared about this and how it made him feel alive. They didn’t know what they were doing or what would happen when they walked out the door and went back to reality, but for right now it didn’t matter. Yohan slipped his hand into the waistband of Seungwoo’s jeans and he inhaled sharply, reaching back to grip the edges of the sink with both hands while his hips jerked forward uncontrollably.

Seungwoo was too injured and they were both too inexperienced for things to go far. Not to mention, they were in a questionable Family Mart restroom, though that was really the least of their worries. For awhile, they kissed and touched and fumbled around in the dark, pretending that this was potentially the beginning of something new and wonderful, and not just a brief respite from a waking nightmare.

They exchanged shy glances as they exited the bathroom, a tousled, hobbling Seungwoo being supported by a flush-faced Yohan. It took them a moment to notice Hangyul leaning against the wall opposite the door, arms crossed over his chest and one eyebrow cocked curiously.

“Took you guys long enough,” he said with a smirk, his voice light and teasing. “I’ve had to piss for like an hour.”

Yohan burst out into a peel of nervous giggles and covered his face, looking at the ground and hurrying Seungwoo along.

Behind him, Hangyul made obnoxious kissing noises. Seungwoo lifted his arm and shot a middle finger up over his shoulder.

Seungwoo basked in the bizarreness of it all, properly babying his knee as he should have been from the beginning. Had he subconsciously been trying to end it all? Had he wanted an excuse to stumble and give up? Was he tempting fate to come for him? He couldn’t quite remember. Right now, he wanted to live and see this through. He wanted to reunite with Minhee and Junho and Eunsang; to piece back together what was left of his X1 family. He wanted to honor Hyeongjun’s memory by giving it his best shot and learning from his earlier mistakes. He wanted to be the leader they’d all believed him to be when they’d entrusted him with the title. He wanted to survive.


	7. Dead to the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
> 
> Admittedly, I'm one chapter behind where I hoped to be on this day, but I just have to roll with it! Que sera sera. But, we're getting very close to the end! Ahh!
> 
> Thank you, as always, to everyone who reads, comments and continues to cheer me on.
> 
> The K-pop world has been a bit crazy lately, so I hope you're all hanging in there. ♡♡♡

The next morning, Seungwoo was in significantly better spirits. He was still in a world of pain and he knew his heart would be broken over his losses possibly forever, but his sense of self-preservation had definitely returned. He had a goal and he had a duty to protect the people he cared about. They were still depending on him to lead them. That responsibility was enough to distract him from his endless despair for the time being. There would be plenty of opportunities to mourn properly later, but right now he needed to keep his head on straight. He knew without a doubt that Hyeongjun would forgive him for temporarily putting his attention on getting the other members to safety. In fact, Seungwoo could clearly imagine Hyeongjun angrily scrunching up his small nose and chastising him in his cute Satoori accent for not doing so sooner. 

His knee looked worse than ever. It was incredibly swollen, grossly discolored and stiff, but he knew all too well that that was a part of the healing process. Wooseok found an ACE bandage in the small first aid section of the store, and Seungwoo let an extremely red-faced Yohan expertly wrap his knee while a smirking Hangyul watched off to the side, making teasingly suggestive comments under his breath.

For breakfast, they ate their fill of whatever their heart’s desired, pulling sour candy and shrimp chips and triangle kimbap off the shelves and stuffing themselves until they felt sick. It was the first time in a while they all seemed to genuinely smile together in a group, enjoying the chaos and extravagance of being able to raid an entire convenience store. Even Dohyon, who they noted had been alarmingly subdued, seemed to perk up and join in on the fun.

After their gluttonous meal, they took stock of their supplies; not just the things within the shop, but also the things they’d collected along the way. Seungwoo was relieved to learn that Wooseok and Hangyul had managed to successfully retrieve their bags from the van that day and so the detour hadn’t been completely in vain. Wooseok now had his glasses and Hangyul’s backpack had contained a phone charger. They’d all been using it on a rotation to keep their batteries topped off at 100%. The letter opener Seungwoo had taken from the office was off to the side along with the peanuts and necktie that Hyeongjun had collected. The items seemed silly and useless now, but Seungwoo remembered how proud Hyeongjun had been of his finds. With a heavy heart, he tied the necktie tightly around his bicep, wanting to keep it with him as a reminder and a token of Hyeongjun and his hard work.

In the afternoon, with the help of Dongpyo supporting his weight, Seungwoo hobbled around the Family Mart, taking careful note of their environment. It was something he should have done from the very beginning, but he’d been too ravaged by grief and pain to think clearly.

There was a checkout counter near the front of the store and a door behind it that led to a very small, very bare employee’s office. There was the bathroom, which he was already familiar with, and then an industrial door in the very back corner that led out to a narrow alleyway behind the store. This was where the back-up generator and recycling were kept. The front of the shop was a wall of glass windows. Seungyoun and Yohan had pushed a wide, heavy ice cream freezer case in front of the door to barcade them in. The middle of the Family Mart consisted of 5 small aisles, one line of refrigerated shelves and a half a wall of enclosed glass cases for frozen foods.

For the time being, they seemed relatively protected. They had all the necessities to survive - food, water, even a small section of medicines and first aid supplies - but it wouldn’t last forever and it certainly wouldn’t solve the bigger problem at hand. Somehow the dead were roaming the Earth in an attempt to snuff out humanity and Seungwoo and the rest of his crew were woefully separated from whatever might be left of the living. They had no idea if they were currently on the winning or the losing team. For now, they just had to hope that somehow, someone would find them and rescue them. They had to hope there was even someone was still out there looking. To aid in the potential search, they wrote ‘help” in big, bold hangul on the front windows of the store with thick, drippy chocolate sauce. It made the whole shop smell sickly sweet, but it was the best idea they could come up with. 

Later that evening, although Wooseok and Hangyul had already relayed most of their side of the story, Seungwoo shared his own version of the events with Yohan, Dongpyo and Seungyoun. He explained how they’d been evacuated from the Plaza to a nearby office building and how they’d basically been left there for hours without any confirmation or knowledge of what was happening on the outside. He detailed their horrific experience in the stairwell and how they’d first learned exactly what this ‘outbreak’ really meant. By the way Seungyoun inhaled and his face went paper white, Seungwoo gathered that perhaps the seriousness of Wooseok’s predicament had been glossed over in the previous retelling. Apparently, Wooseok and Hangyul’s version of events had focused more heavily on the details of Hangyul’s “very awesome, much better than Yohan’s” kick over Wooseok being mere inches away from possible death.

When Seungwoo reached the part of the story about stopping at the company’s van and how they’d tragically lost Hyeongjun, Dongpyo grabbed his hand and held it tightly, encouraging him to continue. His voice wavered slightly, but he pressed on, wanting to remember his young friend’s last moments vividly. He talked about how they’d run frantically through the streets, but then stopped and noticed the horde of undead shuffling around below ground in the subway station. He reported his observation that the zombies seemed to avoid the sunlight, though he couldn’t be sure if it was just a coincidence. He sheepishly recalled his last thoughts before his knee gave out and he’d fallen into the street, convinced it was the end.

When he finished, Dongpyo was practically sitting in his lap, staring up at him with wide, glistening eyes. Seungyoun and Yohan were both tight-lipped and pale, staring down at their fidgeting hands. They offered a few mumbled words of commiseration, but there wasn’t much to say in response. However, Seungwoo didn’t need hollow condolences from close friends. He was more interested in hearing about what  _ they’d _ been through than continuing to wallow in his own horrific memories. He needed to know where they could possibly find Eunsang, Minhee and Junho. He refused to believe that he would never see them again. He refused to believe they hadn’t made it. He needed to be equipped with all the relevant information so that he could eventually find them.

Seungyoun took the lead, clearing his throat before launching into a retelling of his own version of the events, starting from when they’d left the Swing Entertainment building intending to meet up at the Plaza for the concert. They’d been running late because Eunsang had insisted on packing up their leftover lunch to bring over for Dohyon. They were only a couple of blocks away from the Plaza when they realized all the cars in front of them were being stopped by two men in army fatigues and then turning around. When it was finally their turn, the manager had rolled down the window, all of them visibly concerned and anxious when they noticed the soldiers were heavily armed. They’d wondered if there could’ve been an accident or a terrorist attack and instantly worried about the fate of the rest of X1 that had arrived earlier in the day. None of them could ever have predicted what was  _ actually _ going on. Not in a million years.

One of the men had explained that there was an ‘outbreak’ nearby and that everyone within a 5 mile radius was currently being diverted to Yonsei University for a check up and further clearance. They’d said it was precautionary and that they should proceed promptly, but also emphasized that there was no reason to panic. But then almost immediately, the blood-curdling screams had started. People were streaming out from the entrance of the subway station across the street. All of them had looked absolutely terrified. They were yelling and crying and shoving. Some people stumbled and the others had just barbarically stepped over them and continued running. It was a horrific, unbelievable sight, but it wasn’t nearly as awful as what came next. 

It had been difficult to make out what was really happening in the fray, but as the crowd began to thin, Seungyoun watched as someone was grabbed by their hair and pulled back down the ramp to the subway entrance, disappearing from view. A woman jumped on a man in front of her and appeared to bite at his neck, sending him tumbling to the street as she continued to tear at his flesh with her bared teeth. Seungyoun had pushed his face flush up against the van window and watched as people attacked one another in ways that were so unbelievably gruesome, his brain was struggling to absorb it as real and not a fictional scene in a horror movie. The manager had started fumbling around on her phone, but instinctively Seungyoun had known they didn’t have time to make calls or wait for help. He’d yanked the van door open and instructed them to run. He had begged the manager to flee with them, but she insisted she needed to reach the CEO before they made any immediate decisions and pleaded with them to just sit tight and follow protocol. Seungyoun had ignored her, reiterating to the other boys that they needed to leave. Somehow, in his gut, he’d known that they were already far beyond Swing Entertainment’s help.

Outside on the street, it had been pure chaos. After they’d filed out of the van, they’d tried to stay together, but people were pushing and shoving in a desperate state of panic. The five of them had been almost immediately divided and separated by the mob. Dongpyo had latched onto Seungyoun’s arm and by some miracle, Yohan had managed to follow the two of them through the crowd, but Junho, Minhee and Eunsang got lost somewhere in the sea of people. Seungyoun said that he’d instantly regretted not creating a more concrete plan before they made a run for it and he was still blaming himself for not keeping them together.

Once they were out in the street, they didn’t really know where to go. Seungyoun was aware that they were extremely vulnerable and that they needed to get away from the immediate area quickly. The checkpoint at Yonsei University that the soldiers had mentioned was too far to make on foot given the circumstances and they were surrounded by such dangerous pandemonium that Seungyoun decided they needed to find a place to hunker down in as soon as possible. That’s when he’d seen the Family Mart up the block. The three of them had made a mad dash for it, weaving in and out of the panicked crowd.

The middle-aged man behind the cash register had looked annoyed when they’d stumbled in all disheveled and out of breath. He’d tried to scold them for coming in so loudly and impolitely, but he’d been cut off by the muffled sounds of screaming coming from down the block. They’d begged him not to go outside, trying their best to quickly explain the bizarre things that were happening, but in the end there was nothing they could do. Naive curiosity sent him out onto the sidewalk. And that’s when they’d seen up close  _ exactly  _ what was going on.

They’d watched, mouths slackjaw, as a woman with long, black hair had approached the cashier, her body jerking and twitching in a grotesquely unnatural way. Her clothes had been torn and soiled with splatters of bright crimson red. The cashier seemed to finally be grasping the seriousness of the situation and he’d yelled at her to stay away, but she’d ignored him, instead lunging at him with such brute force that it sent him toppling backwards. She’d dipped her head down to his neck while his loud, pained screams filled the street. Yohan had covered his ears and forced Dongpyo to turn away, but Seungyoun had stood frozen, watching, unable to move. When the woman had lifted her head and her dark hair fell back away from her face, he could see the blood and gore running down her chin. Her eyes had been wild and bulging, covered in a thick yellowish film and her body had moved in awkward spasms, like a creature testing out a human form for the first time. The cashier had laid still in the middle of the sidewalk, his entire throat torn away and gushing. He’d been unequivocally dead - Seungyoun was sure of it. But just a few minutes later, he’d started to seize and jerk, his arms reaching up to claw towards the sky. Ungracefully, he’d sat up, his head lolling back and forth on a weakened, damaged neck. Cold, sobering fear had forced Seungyoun to finally turn away, yelling for Yohan to help him move the ice cream freezer just as the newly turned undead cashier ran face first into the door, his thick, blackened blood splattering across the glass. They’d barricaded themselves in the Family Mart and hidden behind the counter. Seungyoun had seen enough scary movies in his life time to know exactly what was going on.

After that, they’d started trying to get in touch with the rest of the members. Yohan’s phone had been lost in the fray, but Seungyoun and Dongpyo had spent hours trying to get through, even long after service went down. Frustrated, Seungyoun had begun trying his luck with the landline phone he found behind the cash register. Somehow, he’d managed to connect to Wooseok, and only Wooseok. The rest of the story after that, Seungwoo already knew.

After sharing their stories, they sat in silence for awhile, reflecting on each other’s experiences and appreciating the difficult journeys they’d all had to endure to make it to this point. There were still an innumerable amount of unknowns and dangers ahead of them, but hearing about Seungyoun’s own grief and guilt made Seungwoo realize how important it was to give themselves some credit. They’d been tasked with an impossibly cruel job. No one should ever have to make the decisions they’d been forced to make. Being kind and understanding towards Seungyoun made Seungwoo a little bit kinder and more understanding towards himself. They’d both endured so much, each trying to lead their members in the very best way they possibly knew how.

Off elsewhere in the shop, Wooseok was preparing them all a dinner while Hangyul and Dohyon had set up a makeshift bowling lane in one of the aisles using empty water bottles and whatever they could pull off the shelves that might potentially pass as a bowling ball. In a strange way, these bits and pieces of their lives still felt painfully normal. At the core, their humanity still remained intact and it gave Seungwoo the tiniest flicker of hope. If there was still a place in the world for them after all of this, maybe they could somehow rebuild their lives.

* * *

On day four of life in the Family Mart, just before dawn, Seungwoo found a sniffling Dohyon sitting behind the checkout counter in the middle of the night, face lit up by the glow of his cell phone. Silently standing over him and peering down at the screen, Seungwoo could see he was trying desperately to connect a call to his mom. It was a sobering reminder of just how young he was. Ever since they’d left the boardroom, Dohyon had been a quieter, more subdued version of himself and while it was completely understandable, it was also unfathomably sad. Seungwoo thought of the life he’d been leading when he was 14 and how unfairly different it was. He’d noticed Hangyul taking extra care to spend time with Dohyon and keep his spirits light, but as far as Seungwoo knew, none of them had really talked about the reality of the situation with him or checked on how he was handling things. Seungwoo was qualified to be a psychologist by any means, but common sense told him that Dohyon was probably struggling in ways that were completely unique from the rest of the older boys.

Seungwoo spent the early morning hours sitting beside him, hidden behind the counter, doing his best to reassure him that his family was likely safe far away from here and praising him for being so strong through everything that had happened. Seungwoo himself had struggled so greatly and had essentially suffered a complete nervous breakdown so he truly did admire the kid for holding it together so well.

Dohyon listened carefully the whole time, but he mostly stayed quiet. It was clear by his body language that directly acknowledging the things that were happening caused him to shut down in what was most likely a subconscious form of self-preservation. The only time he spoke was to inform Seungwoo that he’d actually managed to connect a call twice - but both times it had only rang three times before service cut out again.

Eventually, Seungwoo ran out of words and Dohyon wasn’t offering any more of his own so the conversation ended rather unceremoniously. Later, Seungwoo would wonder if he’d made the effort to have that conversation earlier, would it have changed things? There was no way he’d ever know.

That afternoon, they all organically paired off to do their own thing, trying to keep their minds distracted as they passed the time. Wooseok and Seungyoun were flipping through gossip magazines and taking ridiculous quizzes like ‘what does your style say about your sex life’ and ‘which Gummy song should play at your wedding’ together. Hangyul and Dohyon were competing to see who could fit more baked eggs in their mouth at one time while Dongpyo was off to the side trying to teach Yohan the choreography to Violeta. Seungwoo surreptitiously slipped away to the employee office while they were all preoccupied, tucking himself into the corner on the floor, away from the door.

His conversation earlier in the morning with Dohyon had uncovered his own dormant longing. It had been buried deep beneath his grief and pushed aside so that he could focus his attention on the found family he was currently surrounded by. But, he missed his other loved ones immensely. He missed his Victon brothers. He missed his biological family. He couldn’t bear to imagine a world where they were all suddenly snatched away from it at one time.

He sighed heavily as he pulled out his cell phone and opened the camera. With a flick of his finger, he slid it to video and hit record. He swallowed hard and held the phone up, forcing a huge smile across his weary face.  


“Hi, mom. It’s me. I wanted you to know that I’m safe. I’m sure you heard what’s been happening in Jongno-gu and you must be very worried. But your son is doing well and fighting hard, just like always.” He held up his fingers in a peace sign and nodded, but he couldn’t keep the edges of his mouth from twitching downward. He took a deep, steadying breath and tried to regain his composure.  


“I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but if you do, I want you to know I’ve had a very happy life and I’m so grateful for all the love and support you’ve always shown me. I know it wasn’t always easy for you to watch my struggles, but you always cheered me on. You raised me very well.”

Seungwoo bit his bottom lip and looked down into his lap. He wasn’t sure of what else to say. Of course, a million different things came to mind, but none of them felt right in the moment. The sudden sound of approaching footsteps interrupted his thoughts and made him glance up.

Yohan was leaning against the door frame, breathing heavily, his forehead glistening with sweat from his intense and impromptu dance practice with Dongpyo.

“I didn’t know where you went,” he panted, leaning forward and bracing his hands on his knees. “I got freaked out! Yah! Don’t just disappear on me like that!”

Seungwoo smiled genuinely and tilted his head, watching Yohan in the doorway. It was disorienting to feel so empty and yet so full at the same time; to feel so hopeless, but still want so badly to hope. Seungwoo turned back to the camera.

“Mom, I want you to know that met someone. Well, I met them a while ago, but… I really like them. I’ve introduced you before, but I won’t tell you who it is now. When we’re all back and this is over, we’ll have a meal together. You can make seollangtang. Have I ever told you that yours is my favorite?”

Seungwoo’s eyes flicked over to Yohan, who was smiling sheepishly, the tips of his ears burning bright red.

“Anyway, mom, I have to go. We’re actually having a dance practice! Can you imagine that? I suppose we should stay in shape for our next performance.” He laughed, his lashes brimming with glittering, unshed tears. “I love you, mom. I love you very much. Tell dad and Sunhwa and Jiyong that I love them and miss them too. We’ll see each other again soon.”

He swallowed down a lump in his throat and ended the video. He dropped his phone into his lap and stared blankly at it.

“Hey.” Yohan was still slightly out of breath as he walked over and sat down next to Seungwoo. He leaned against his shoulder and said softly, “I want to make one too. Will you record me? I don’t have my phone so...”

Seungwoo immediately gave him a small, melancholy smile and nodded, picking up his cell.  


“Yes, of course. Let’s both leave lots of messages to everyone.”

* * *

Just after sunrise on day five, the back-up generator finally ran out of gas and electricity to the building was cut off. They feasted on as much of the perishable food as possible, but they were barely able to make a dent. Even Dohyon tapped out quite quickly, looking rather sick. By nightfall, some of it was already starting to turn bad and smell so they began chucking the refrigerated food out the back door and into the alley, careful to keep a close watch and only open it as wide as absolutely necessary.

Luck was not on their side on that day and a storm blew in around dinner time. Ominous, grey clouds blanketed the sky and the low rumble of thunder agitated the air. Seungwoo couldn’t be sure if it was a coincidence or not, but the activity of the zombies seemed to significantly increase with the turn of the weather. Up until now, they’d only caught sight of a handful of decaying corpses shambling by the front windows of the shop, but on this day a steady stream of undead seemed to be on the move, some of them knocking noisily into the front of the Family Mart, their oozing, rotting bodies leaving behind black streaks of gore across the glass.

None of them said it out loud, but their introspective, somber moods indicated something that they all already knew. Help wasn’t coming. They were still getting no reliable service on their cell phones. They’d survive on the Family Mart’s water and packaged foods for a while, but what would happen when that ran out? What was the end game for them?

The rain came down that night in sheets, battering against the shop like a spray of bullets. Lightning split the sky in half, illuminating the dark aisles in haunting flashes, only to be extinguished with the sudden crack of roaring thunder moments later. Seungwoo imagined that the clouds were crying, their heavy tears trying to wash away the blood and horror from the streets, mourning the dead and the undead alike.

As he laid there staring up at the shadowed ceiling somewhere around midnight, he heard light footsteps approaching. He felt, rather than saw, someone lay down next to him and a warm hand found his in the darkness, squeezing it tightly. He returned the strong grip, knowing without looking that it was Yohan’s. Something in the air shifted. A warning? In his subconscious it felt as though the timer on a bomb had suddenly started ticking down. Seungwoo instinctively rolled over onto his side just as Yohan did the same, unexpectedly situating them face to face, their noses practically touching. They were so close, he could feel Yohan’s breath against his lips. Seungwoo’s heart started racing as little sparks of adrenaline danced across his skin.

“Seungwoo-hyunggggg…” Dongpyo whined loudly in his sleep and nestled into Seungwoo’s back on his other side, gripping his shirt.

Seungwoo and Yohan broke out into silent laughter, leaning their foreheads together as they quietly attempted to shush each other.

Over the next half hour, one by one, the other boys sleepily made their way over until they were all laying squished together in clump in the middle of the instant ramen aisle. It reminded Seungwoo of all the times that the company had booked them six hotel rooms, but somehow they’d all always ended up packed together in one (usually his), laying across each other on the too-small bed or camping out on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets. But this pile felt significantly smaller and colder. Seungwoo sorely missed X1 feeling whole, but he was also still overwhelmingly comforted by the presence of those still with him. He fell asleep with his head resting on Yohan’s chest, his mind replaying a bittersweet dream of the first time they’d stepped on stage together as 11 brothers to a sold out venue.

And then, on day six, all hell broke loose.


	8. Night of the Living Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bad (?) news is that this took longer to post than I expected. The good news is that originally, this chapter was much longer, but I ultimately decided to cut it here and split it in half. That means the next post will follow this one pretty quickly because it's mostly ready to go!
> 
> Also, I've been a bit distracted by Victon's new mini-album release! If you're enjoying the fic and want to pay me back in some small way, please just give Nostalgic Night a listen on their official youtube channel! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOXkpWuwfy8)
> 
> As always, thank you so very much for your continued support and for loving this crazy AU that no one asked for! TY to Dannie and Yan for being my biggest fans (lol ;'b); to all the thoughtful commenters that give me life; to kangminhees on twitter who gave the fic even more exposure; and ofc to every single reader! 
> 
> This chapter was heavily framed by the amazing track "Light of the Seven" from the GOT OST. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS-gbqbVd8c)
> 
> We're coming to the close, fam!
> 
> Wow. Ok, I'll shut up now and let you read!

T. S. Elliot once wrote, “this is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.” For Seungwoo, it was a quick, almost imperceptible click that upended their sanctuary and sent them catapulting into a brand new nightmare. It was like the barely audible sound of a pin being pulled from a grenade and it would be added to the increasingly long list of things that would haunt him forever.

Night crept into morning on the sixth day, the transition barely noticeable due to the dark storm that continued to rage outside the front windows. With the electricity now cut out, the interior of the Family Mart remained gloomy and shadowed, the sunlight obscured by thick, grey cloud cover. The boys ate their hodgepodge breakfast of packaged pastries and nonperishable snacks in quiet, their moods seeming to match the bleakness of the weather outside. They were running out of casual conversation topics to discuss to pass the time. They were running out of creative ways to distract themselves while they waited for help. They were running out of hope.

Everyone seemed a bit off, not that it was unreasonable or unexpected given their current situation. For most of the day, Wooseok and Seungyoun simply sat back to back, leaning against one another and staring out the front windows, quietly counting the steady stream of undead that now shambled past the Family Mart in the misting rain. Hangyul and Dongpyo sat perched atop the front check out counter, legs swinging back and forth as they mindlessly rolled up small pieces of receipt paper and attempted to toss them into a bin of old magazines across the way, missing most of the shots. Yohan was abnormally clingy, sticking close to Seungwoo’s side every time he shifted his sitting position or got up to work some of the stiffness out of his legs and injured knee. In another timeline, the attention and closeness would’ve made Seungwoo delightfully nervous and giddy, but in their current reality he simply found it comforting, though still admittedly a bit cute. Dohyon seemed oddly fidgety and restless. More than once, Seungwoo noticed he was missing from the pack, having wandered off to a hidden part of the store by himself. At one point, while taking a slow walk through the aisles to test out the progress of his knee’s recovery, he found the young boy’s long body tucked into the doorway of the bathroom, head bent over his cell phone.

“Still trying?” Seungwoo asked softly, a small frown tilting the edges of his mouth downward.

Dohyon simply nodded and tapped the call button again.

Seungwoo didn’t know how to further help or distract X1’s maknae. He’d already done his best to talk him through things the day before, but it didn’t appear he’d made any significant impact. He knew he couldn’t lie or offer false hopes. He couldn’t treat him like a child, despite the fact that he absolutely was one, because after everything they’d been through, it would just be too patronizing. The Dohyon who was afraid of loud noises and fuzzy lion costumes had been forced to grow up overnight. At this point, the best Seungwoo could do now was try to empathize with him.

“You know, I miss my parents too,” Seungwoo offered honestly. “I recorded a video message on my phone for my mom. It made me feel better. I know one day it will reach her. I’m sure she’s worried, just like your mom. Maybe you should try recording one too. Say all the things you wish you could say to her right now.”

Dohyon glanced up and nodded in quiet acknowledgement, but then went right back to focusing on the brightly lit screen in front of him. With a helpless sigh, Seungwoo turned away, feeling defeated. A sheepish looking Yohan was hovering a few feet away, leaning against the wall and waiting for him to return.

At around 4pm, they decided to just call it a night. In the real world, before Seoul was plunged into a living hell, that would seem like a laughably early bedtime for them, but in this current timeline they were all perpetually exhausted. They were emotionally and mentally drained and they weren’t getting very many restful hours of sleep on the cold, hard floor of the Family Mart anyway. It felt like they had all suddenly stalled, stunted by the ominous change in the weather and their rapidly depleting optimism. Seungwoo knew they needed to make a plan and plot out their next steps, but such an undertaking seemed enormous and impossible as long as the sinister storm was raging on outside the windows. He prayed that soon the sun would break through the clouds, brightening not only the world outside the Family Mart, but the hopes of those currently seeking refuge within it.

Seungwoo was just slipping into the relief of unconsciousness, one arm draped comfortably across Yohan’s chest, when he heard a sound. Instantly, he was wide awake. In reality, the faint metallic click was almost inaudible, but in Seungwoo’s ears it had echoed deafeningly throughout the entire store. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized just how exhaustingly heightened his senses had become. He was so tightly wound with perpetual anxiety, waiting for the next danger to befall them, that even the slightest abnormality immediately set off alarm bells ringing in his head. And for some reason, this one specifically made his heart plummet into his stomach.

He shot up in the darkness, looking around the aisle, his eyes wildly scanning the sleeping boys surrounding him. Maybe it had been a crack of thunder or a natural creak of the building’s foundation settling in the storm. Perhaps he’d dreamed it. No one else seemed to be stirring and he wanted so badly to believe that it had just been a trick of his imagination. But cold, knowing dread crept over him like an icy frost.

Everything that came next happened in the span of one instant flash of lightning, but to Seungwoo it felt like a long, drawn out moment. It was like pulling a spring apart before letting go and watching it snap tightly back together.

First, he recognized that the sound of the rain had changed. He’d grown accustomed to the muffled sound of drops pelting against the roof and windows of the store, but now his ears picked up a clearer, most distinct pitter-patter. He could also hear the low, angry howling of the wind and he noticed the air suddenly felt cooler. His blood ran cold as his eyes adjusted to the low light and he realized that one body was missing from the group. There was a deep set of rumbles that could’ve been rolling thunder, except that they sounded ravenous and guttural. The culmination of the sounds sent chilling goosebumps prickling across his skin, turning it clammy. Something was open - a door or a window - and Dohyon was gone, no longer curled into a ball on the floor in the aisle where they’d settled in for sleep. He started to quickly scramble to his feet, the rest of the boys instantly coming to consciousness around him, awoken by the commotion. And then a familiar, high-pitched set of blood-curdling screams began slicing through the stillness of the Family Mart.

“Get up!” Seungwoo yelled out, his voice cracking with panic, even though they were all already moving. “Dohyon-ie!??”

Despite his injured knee still being incredibly sore and stiff, he was able to launch himself up from the ground in an instant, but Hangyul was somehow faster, taking off like a shot towards the back of the shop where the choked screams were coming from. Seungwoo chased after him, right on the back of his heels, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. His stomach coiled and twisted with abject dread and fear. The world felt like it was spinning too fast, tilting the earth and making him disoriented and dizzy. Something was very wrong, he knew that much.

Despite attempting to mentally prepare for the worst, as soon as they rounded the corner of the aisle, a scene came into view that was so grisly and terrifying it ripped the air from Seungwoo’s lungs. Instinctively, he reached out to grab the back of Hangyul’s shirt to slow him, but the tips of his fingers only grazed the fabric. Even after everything he’d been through and everything he’d seen so far, the situation he was now witnessing caused his heart to seize with fear and his forehead to break out in a cold sweat.

The heavy industrial door to the back alley was currently being held open by a tangle of sopping undead trying to crawl over one another to get inside the Family Mart. It was a grotesque, writhing dogpile of decaying limbs and oozing torsos. Two had already made it through the threshold and were currently clawing at Dohyon’s chest as he thrashed beneath them on the floor, trying to roll out from under their wet, rotting bodies. Dark, scarlet blood was beginning to pool on the floor around him. Seungwoo felt dizzy as his brain tried to take in and process the horror unraveling before him.

“Get the fuck off of him!” Hangyul yelled as he dove towards Dohyon. It was the angry, pained sound of a wounded, desperate animal. He immediately started trying to push and kick the hissing corpses off of the young boy’s body as they continued to lash out; blackened, gnashing teeth trying to get a hold of his flesh.

Seungwoo’s mind seemed to instinctively shift into survival mode, reeling as it tried to assess their current situation while also formulating a plan for the immediate future. What happened next? How did they survive this? Where did they go? What series of steps did they need to take to avoid their gruesome, untimely deaths? Even on autopilot, it was nearly impossible to think straight as he watched the two grotesque undead ripping into the young maknae’s body while a reckless Hangyul attempted to beat them off with pure, rabid brute strength.

Seungwoo’s sneakers slid across the slick floor as he dodged the outstretched arms of the zombies, heading for Dohyon, but he managed to stay upright. His knee throbbed, but the true depth of the pain was masked by the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Skidding to a stop, he quickly bent down and grabbed beneath Dohyon’s shoulders, trying to drag him back and away as Hangyul continued to pummel the two undead with his fists and feet.

“What do we do? What do we do?” Seungyoun was yelling frantically; the other boys all pale and wide-eyed as they rounded the corner of the aisle and joined the nightmarish fray.

“We gotta go move the freezer away from the front door!” Yohan shouted back. “Or else we’re going to get trapped in here!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Seungwoo watched Seungyoun and Yohan take off towards the front of the store. It was just a fleeting thought, but he was surprised and slightly impressed to see Yohan taking such logical control under the terrifying circumstances. Then again, Seungwoo remembered him charging forward like a pipe-wielding knight in shining armor back when he’d been laying in the street waiting for death. It seemed like that had happened a lifetime ago and Seungwoo wished with his whole, heavy heart that he could go back to that moment. He wished he could do things differently and pay more attention and pull himself together faster. Regret blossomed in the back of his head just as three more moaning undead squeezed through the crowded doorframe. 

The situation instantly became even more dire and Seungwoo’s pulse pounded in his ears so loudly that it made him wince. His entire head throbbed with each thudding heartbeat, but he kept yanking, feeling his muscles burn from the strain of it. Dohyon had stopped struggling and gone limp, making him even heavier.

Finally, Hangyul managed to beat the zombies back enough so that Seungwoo could pull Dohyon free. The sudden, unexpected release sent him flying backwards with the momentum and he landed hard on his butt, but he managed to haul Dohyon along with him, dragging the younger boy into his lap. He looked down the length of Dohyon’s body and gasped, his throat constricting around the air and choking him.

The front of Dohyon’s shirt was torn to ribbons and his entire torso was covered in thick, viscous blood that gushed from deep lacerations. In his left hand, he was still clutching his phone. The screen was smeared with crimson gore, but Seungwoo could still see the contact name lit up.

_ Mom. _

Seungwoo’s heart arched with miserable grief and panic as his eyes met Dohyon's: two wide, terror-filled orbs staring up at him, unseeing and eerily unfocused. With an anguished sob, Seungwoo doubled over, hugging Dohyon’s head to his chest.

“Why? Why did you do that?” he pleaded, rocking back and forth with his forehead pressed against Dohyon’s. “Why didn’t you just-”

Seungwoo could feel his sanity tearing at the seams. The sweet, metallic smell of blood filled his nostrils, making him feel sick and dizzy while the heartbroken, agonizing sounds of Hangyul’s hoarse howls tore through the background, drowning out the dull groans of the mindless undead.

“Hyung! Let’s go! Please, let’s go! We have to go!” A teary Dongpyo had suddenly materialized by his side and was currently tugging desperately at his elbow, trying to get him to stand, but Seungwoo could barely muster the strength to lift his head, looking over at him dumbly while hell blazed like a wildfire around them.

“Yah! Over here! Come on! COME ON!”

Seungwoo could hear Yohan and Seungyoun calling for them, presumably from near the front door. It was Yohan’s fearful voice along with Dongpyo’s begging that ultimately pulled him from the inner darkness that was threatening to swallow him up. He needed to focus. He needed to lead them, even as everything was falling apart. He couldn’t keep failing them. He couldn’t let any more of them die.

Numbly, he released Dohyon, watching as his unsupported head lulled unnaturally to the side. A sob hitched in his chest as he grabbed the phone from the young boy’s loose grip and slipped it into his own pocket. But as he looked up and started getting to his feet, his sneakers slick with blood, the dominoes of fate began to fall.

A crazed Hangyul was still swinging his bare fists, pummeling his split knuckles into the soft, sunken flesh of the undead that had taken the life of his young best friend. His face and his arms and his clothes were smeared and soaked with black and red gore and brain matter, making him look like the unfortunate protagonist of a b-list horror movie. But more corpses were shambling around him now, fleshless fingers reaching out for him as their jaws worked, gnashing teeth readying to find purchase. He was essentially surrounded, and as he whirled around, his eyes wide and frenzied, landing punches and kicks at anything within range, it was obvious that he was exhausted. His chest heaved with heavy breaths and his movements were increasingly sluggish and delayed. On top of that, he was essentially cornered.

Seungwoo knew he had to do something. 

“Get to the door,” he shouted at Dongpyo, shaking the smaller boy off his arm and pushing him towards the front of the store. “Go! I’ll be okay. Go!”

He could tell Dongpyo was hesitating, but he didn’t have time to argue with him further. His head was on a swivel, looking around the Family Mart and trying to find something, anything that he could use to help take out the undead currently bearing down on a panicking Hangyul. Where was the pipe Yohan had used? Why hadn’t they thought to keep some sort of weapons at the ready? Had they gotten too comfortable again? Seungwoo refused to fall victim to those creeping dark thoughts this time and he forcefully pushed them out of his mind, trying to focus. He’d just need to get creative and make use of something in the immediate area. He took off for the end of the closest aisle, his feet sliding across the slick floor. He swept a display of canned coffee on to the ground and yanked a metal shelf free from the rack. He spun around, holding it out in front of his chest like a ballistic shield, just as one of the zombies saw their opening and lurched toward Hangyul from behind, face first; bare, dirty teeth ready to chomp down.

“Hang-!!” Seungwoo only managed to choke out a half of a warning before something blurred past him.

Wooseok dove head first into the fray, wrapping his arms around the middle of the zombie currently lunging at Hangyul, tackling him to the ground with a wet, sickening thud. The tumble took out the unstable the legs of a second nearby undead, who collapsed down on top of them both, sandwiching Wooseok between two jerking, hissing corpses, jaws snapping out at his neck as he attempted to hold them back with his forearms. It was hard to even see him beneath the tangle of grey undead flesh and torn, soiled clothing.

A primitive, anguished battle cry tore from Seungwoo’s throat as he launched forward, rearing back the wide, flat piece of shelving. When he reached the scuffle, he swung hard and true; the loud, satisfying crack of metal against bone echoing through the store as he began wildly wielding his makeshift weapon, beating zombies away from Hangyul with every bit of strength he could muster. He could feel the stinging memories of Hyeongjun and Dohyon fueling his rampage, forcing his aching arm muscles into motion as he lifted the metal shelf over his head and brought it down right at the base of the skull of the zombie currently on top of Wooseok. Quickly, Wooseok rolled to the side, just as Seungwoo brought the edge of the shelf straight down again, this time crushing through the throat of the undead that had initially been tackled to the floor. Dark, congealed bits of flesh and blood sprayed out with every impact, splattering the three of them in a black, macabre shower of gore and grime.

More and more undead began shuffling through the doorway. It seemed as though a giant crowd of them had been slowly congregating in the narrow alley, perhaps enticed by the rotting smell of the bad food they’d discarded or by the shelter the shade of the tall building walls created from the sun. And now, they were now entirely hellbent on taking over the interior of the Family Mart.

“We have to go,” Seungwoo shouted, still wailing on the undead who continued to mindlessly shamble forward, driven only by the primal desire to feed on living flesh. “Out the front! Hurry.”

The undead that he’d managed to subdue were starting to rise and stumble forward again; raw, mangled nubs of fingers clawing at the air. Hangyul spun and kicked the closest one away and then turned to help Wooseok up from the ground.

“Come on! Come on!”

Seungyoun and Yohan had reappeared at the end of the aisle and were frantically waving the boys on, gesturing towards the front of the shop. Seungwoo gave his wide, flat weapon one more sweeping swing, bashing back two more undead and then took off towards the door, pushing Wooseok and Hangyul out in front of him. Their feet slipped on the slick coating of blood and rain water that had pooled on the tiled floor and they slid into each other as they attempted to reach Yohan and Seungyoun’s outstretched arms. Seungwoo’s tender knee throbbed with sharp twinges of pain as his initial burst of adrenaline began to wear off. This time he consciously did his best to bear the brunt of his weight on his uninjured leg while still moving as quickly as possible. Yohan instantly came up under his arm, gripping him tightly around the waist to help him hobble to the door. Seungwoo chanced a quick glance over his shoulder, seeing the zombies descend on Dohyon’s already ravaged body, his vision blurring with hot, angry tears. He bit the inside of his cheek and turned his attention back forward, refusing to breakdown when they were still in such dire, immediate danger. He needed to continue to keep his head on straight.

Dongpyo was holding the door open and waving them over, his small face ghostly pale and damp with a mix of sweat and rain. Seungwoo could hear the sluggish moans of the undead not far behind them as they all squeezed through the door and out onto the street. Seungyoun yanked the door closed behind them and two of the faster zombies ran mindlessly, face first into the glass with a loud crunching thud. Seungwoo doubled over, gasping for air, and almost fell forward, but Yohan increased his hold around his middle, keeping him upright. For a moment, they all seemed to be silently trying to catch their breath, but then...

“You’re… you’re bit? You’re fucking bit! Why did you do that? You’re an idiot! You’re such a fucking idiot! You shouldn’t have-...” 

Seungwoo’s eyes snapped up to see Hangyul running his bloodied hands through his ashy, matted hair. His face was covered with a coating of dirt and gore, save for two tear tracks that had washed clean lines of skin down his cheeks. He was gesturing wildly at Wooseok, who stood there tight lipped, cradling his left arm.

“I’m not an idiot,” Wooseok said, his mouth upturned in a weak, sad smile. “It was my turn to save you. I owed you one. And I wanted it to look more badass than that shitty kick you won’t stop bragging about.”

Hangyul shook his head violently from side to side before collapsing to his knees on the sidewalk. He hunched over, screaming into the concrete as the rain picked up, beginning to fall from the heavens in larger, heavier drops. Seungwoo watched as his fingertips scraped at the rough ground; howling, enraged curses ripping from his throat. Despite the heart-wrenching, raw display of grief, Seungwoo could only feel empty and numb. His brain simply couldn’t process everything that was happening on top of reconciling everything that they’d already endured.

His gaze crept slowly over to Seungyoun who was still gripping the front door handle, using all of his weight as a counter balance to keep the undead from pulling it open on the other side. His eyes were wide and unblinking, staring at Wooseok as rivulets of rain ran down his pale face. His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched tightly, but the rest of him remained stone still.

Sudden movement in Seungwoo’s peripheral vision caught his attention and his head snapped back forward. For the first time since they’d stumbled out of the Family Mart, he did a 180, looking back and forth down the street where they now stood, vulnerable. As he assessed their surroundings, every fine, tiny hair on his body started to stand on end and his stomach plummeted to his feet, making him feel woozy with nausea.

Dozens of undead were swaying and lurching along on the sidewalks. A few had caught notice of their loud commotion and were now shambling in their direction on bent limbs; some crawling on their stomachs, pulling their broken bodies along with rotting, twisted arms.

“Can we get a fucking break?!” Seungwoo leaned back and shouted up into the sky, droplets of rain pelting his face.

This whole thing felt like a sick joke. Were they just meant to endure maximum suffering until finally meeting their own terrible demises? What higher power could possibly sit idly by and allow such unbearable, unrelenting tragedy? Were they truly and utterly alone and simply delaying their inevitable end? What horrible act had they committed in their past lives to deserve this kind of fate?

“Well, where do we go now?” Wooseok asked dryly, pointedly avoiding looking in Seungyoun’s direction. “What do we do?”

Instinctively, they all started backing up against the front of the Family Mart. The zombies trapped within the shop were still clawing at the glass and smashing their oozing bodies mindlessly against the door, but luckily they didn’t seem to have the mental capacity to figure out how to pull it open. Seungyoun released the handle, his shoulders slumping forward. At Seungwoo’s side, still helping to support his weight, Yohan stared up at him with wide, desperate eyes.

They were waiting for him to offer guidance and answers, but he had none. It was unreasonable and unfair for them to defer to him and he felt an odd flash of anger spark within him. The unexpected feeling of hot, bubbling exasperation seemed to be holding back his grief from overwhelming him, so he embraced it, letting it consume him.

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know! I’m the leader of a fucking idol group, not God.”

Despite his harsh declaration, Seungwoo still glanced up and down the street, searching for a way out. Could they try to hide in another store? Could they make a run for it and just try to avoid the horde of undead currently bearing down on them? Would they find a safe haven a few blocks over? What could they do?

There was an elongated rumble of thunder that interrupted the steady sound of the rain. It infiltrated Seungwoo’s erratic thoughts, and he paused, listening, his entire body frozen in place.

_ No. _

_ It wasn’t thunder. _

Seungwoo straightened, his head wildly swiveling back and forth to look down the street, frantically searching for the source of the sound.

It was an engine revving.

The dim glow of headlights came into view first, breaking through the thick veil of rain, followed by the painfully familiar outline of a vehicle. A van. One of Swing Entertainment’s vans.

“Look! There!” Seungwoo gestured wildly down the road, waiting for the others to take notice and acknowledge its existence, mildly worried he’d completely lost his grip on reality and was now hallucinating.

But they all seemed to see the van as well, squinting through the rain and then gasping as realization sunk in. 

“Oh my god.” Dongpyo’s voice wavered as he gripped Seungwoo’s free arm to steady himself, seemingly dizzy with relief.

The undead were still bearing down on them, but the van reached them first, the front end slamming into a cluster of three zombies that were currently crossing the road, sending their crooked corpses soaring through the air and landing in the street about 20 feet away with a sickening crunch. The vehicle screeched to a halt right at the curb.

Seungwoo held up a hand to shield his eyes from the pounding rain, trying to make out their saviors through the tinted windows. His heart rose, lifted by the last thin tendrils of irrational hope that still somehow remained coiled deep within him. It was nearly impossible to see from his current vantage point, but he didn’t have to wait in the limbo of uncertainty long. The sliding side door of the van was yanked open from the inside and a strikingly familiar face came into view. It took Seungwoo’s breath away.

Eunsang.

And behind him, in the driver’s seat, frantically waving for them to get in, was Minhee.


	9. Dead on Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll keep it short and sweet this time! Thank you as always to my cheerleaders, the readers and everyone who takes the time to comment!
> 
> It's been a rough week for us, hasn't it? But I believe everything will be okay!! ♡ ♡
> 
> ... for our REAL boys. Our AU boys... well. You'll just have to read to find out!

Seungwoo had cried many times over the past week; probably more than he’d ever cried before in his entire adult life. They’d been desperate, frustrated, mournful tears that flowed freely, unable to be held back or repressed. They’d overwhelmed him and crippled his ability to think straight. Now, his vision blurred with the physical manifestation of relief and adoration. It had been his plan to somehow find the missing members of X1, but in a twist of fate, it was they who came to his rescue instead. The storm still raged on, dark and ominous as ever, but looking up into the faces of his brave friends made it feel like the sun was finally breaking through the clouds.

“Come on! Get in!” Eunsang reached out a hand and they all shuffled forward in disbelief, letting themselves be pulled into the van one-by-one. Seungwoo was the last to climb in, pushing a hesitant Yohan up into the vehicle in front of him as he kept vigilant watch for any signs of immediate danger heading their way. They all collapsed down onto the seats, squished together to fit, all silently bewildered and in varying states of shock. They were all soaked through to the bone with rain and other much more unpleasant liquids. Seungwoo glanced down his front, seeing for the first time that his shirt was covered in a large blotch of dark red; Dohyon’s blood or the zombie’s, he couldn’t be sure, but it made his stomach lurch and his skin crawl. He wanted to rip the cloth off his body and get it away from his skin, but he barely had the energy to lift his arms.

Eunsang was hesitating to close the door. He turned back and looked at Seungwoo with a sullen, questioning expression, but Seungwoo could only offer a tiny shake of his head. No more would be coming. Waiting would be in vain. It didn’t escape his notice that Junho was missing from the group as well. 

With a somber, heavy sigh, Eunsang pulled the van door closed, all of them jumping reflexively when it slammed shut with a crash. For a moment, the eight of them just sat there traumatized, staring into space with unfocused eyes as the rain continued to pelt rhythmically against the roof of the vehicle. A few of the undead were now clawing at the side of the van, pressing their sloughing flesh against the windows. Seungwoo was vaguely aware of the deep, throbbing pain emanating from his knee, but he'd danced through much worse. The few last days of rest and healing had been crucial.

Ultimately, it was Hangyul who broke the silence, slamming a clenched, blood-stained fist against the rear tinted window.

“Wooseok is bit.”

Seungwoo watched as Seungyoun inhaled sharply and leaned forward, bent over in half in his seat. He let his head dangle between his knees as Wooseok slowly held out his left arm. Marring the soft flesh right below his wrist was an oozing, crescent shaped wound. Sinister, inky, black veins were beginning to branch out from the bite like long, spindly spider legs. The skin beneath them was purple and swollen.

“It doesn’t even really hurt,” he said flatly, staring down at the floor of the van. “I didn’t even realize.”

“Idiot,” Hangyul choked out under his breath. He rested his forehead against the window with a loud thud, silent tears spilling down his face as he stared out into the greyness.

A pit of despair had opened up in Seungwoo’s chest days ago, but now it felt like it had grown into an impossibly wide chasm, swallowing up all of his insides. He could remember Hangyul and Wooseok bickering back in the boardroom so clearly. They were always constantly picking at each other, but neither of them ever took it to heart. It was the venomless arguing of close siblings. In the end, they’d both saved each other’s lives at some point, unselfishly and without hesitation. But, ironically, this sacrificial act might’ve been the one time Wooseok had done something Hangyul would find unforgivable.

Watching a usually tough, sarcastic Hangyul cry, all curled up in his seat, made Seungwoo feel strangely empty and detached, as though the bottomless void had finally sucked away all of his base, human emotions as well. Was he completely mentally broken? Had the unending, unimaginable tragedies jaded him so thoroughly? Was he growing accustomed to suffering such great losses? Had he become a zombie already, in his own way?

_ Wooseok. Junho. Dohyon. Hyeongjun. _

His eyes traveled to his bicep where the tie Hyeongjun had found was still secured in place, now stained and damp with guts and gore. Quickly, Seungwoo untied it and then leaned over towards Wooseok, grabbing for his wrist. He wrapped the wet necktie around his forearm, just above the wound, knotting it as tightly as his fatigued muscles would allow. Maybe it would stop the spread of whatever this outbreak was. At the very least, maybe it would slow the process until they found help.

“We need to get to the checkpoint,” Yohan said quietly, watching Seungwoo secure the makeshift tourniquet around Wooseok’s arm. Minhee opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then closed it and simply nodded from his place in the driver’s seat.

“How… how did you find us? How did you know where we were?” It was Dongpyo who had cleared his throat and posed the question in a trembling voice.

Eunsang smiled sadly and held up his phone.

“I track Dohyon’s cell. He’s the youngest and when we became roommates, I just felt like I should. I felt like I was responsible to look out for him.” His voice cracked with emotion and he dropped the phone down into his lap, his chin falling to his chest.

“We finally got a ping yesterday. We’d been trying for days.” Minhee put the shifter into drive and the van lurched forward. He continued the explanation as Eunsang attempted to collect himself. “We tried calling you guys, too, but... it never got through.”

Seungwoo felt a sharp pang in his heart as he vividly remembered Dohyon’s hopeful voice informing him the day before that he’d actually gotten his phone to ring twice while trying to call his mom. There must have been random spikes of service and wifi getting through the airwaves. Dohyon’s persistence might have been the very thing that ended up saving the rest of them and reconnecting the group. It was unfathomably painful and unjust to consider.

Beside Seungwoo, Seungyoun slowly sat up. His eyes were bloodshot - ringed red and swollen - and he swayed back and forth in his seat as though he were drunk. His complexion was a sickly shade of green and when he opened his mouth, Seungwoo wondered if he might vomit, but instead he spoke in a hoarse, strained tone.

“How did you guys…? When we got separated… I’m sorry. I should’ve…” He stumbled over his words, his tongue seemingly twisted up with grief and guilt.

“It was chaos. It wasn’t your fault,” Eunsang said quietly. He leaned far over from the passenger seat and placed a hand on Seungyoun’s knee. “We couldn’t find you guys in the crowd, but we were able to take shelter in a flower shop right across the street from where we got stopped. We could still see the back of the van from the front window, that’s how close we were. We were safe and for a while we just waited it out, hoping help would come. We found a few snacks in the shop owner’s desk drawer, but by day five, without significant food, we were pretty desperate.”

Eunsang hesitated and glanced over at Minhee. From his vantage point, Seungwoo could see Minhee’s wide, unblinking eyes glistening with wetness, but he seemed to be intensely focusing on the road. Eunsang turned back towards them and continued on in a hushed voice.

“Junho remembered that we’d packed up the leftover lunches to bring to the SMUF soundcheck for Dohyon. They were still in the back of the van. It wasn’t far. Just a few yards away at most. It was Junho’s idea so he insisted on leading.” Eunsang paused and swallowed hard, his face draining of all it’s color.

Suddenly, the vehicle jerked to the side, sending them toppling over onto one another. The whole van bounced up and down as it drove over what might’ve been a speedbump, but was more likely a body. Minhee glanced over his shoulder and offered a weak, apologetic smile.

“I, uh, don’t have my license yet.”

The absurdity of it mixed with the numbness of his current state of shock almost made Seungwoo inappropriately laugh out loud and he had to cover his mouth with the back of his hand to stop himself. It was clear his sanity was starting to unravel, but then Yohan placed a steadying hand on his thigh, somehow seeming to sense his instability. Instantly, he felt grounded again. He bit down on his bottom lip and nodded at Eunsang, encouraging him to continue on with the story.

“When we got to the van...” Eunsang exhaled heavily and rubbed his palms over his face. “When we got to the van, the manager was still in it. Except, she wasn’t the manager anymore. She was… one of those things. She attacked Junho, but he managed to pull her out of the driver seat, fighting her off while he yelled for us to climb inside.” Eunsang’s lashes were heavy with tears and he attempted unsuccessfully to blink them away. His voice quivered as he went on.

“The keys were still in the ignition, but we didn’t know what to do. Junho was lying in the street with… that thing just…and then a few hours later… he… he...” Eunsang trailed off and Seungwoo could recognize terror reflected in his glistening eyes as he recalled the memory. Whatever must have happened, and Seungwoo had a pretty terrible idea of what it might’ve been, Eunsang was clearly struggling to revisit it. Without meaning to, he glanced over at Wooseok. Though his jaw was tightly set, his face was extremely pale.

“And then after that?” Seungwoo asked, tearing his eyes away from Wooseok and clearing his throat. Without saying it directly, he wanted Eunsang to know he could skip over the more difficult parts.

“I think we were in shock. We ate the food, but I don’t really remember doing it. I do remember getting the location ping on my phone. It was so surprising. To realize how close your guys were. To find out Dohyon might still be alive. But, it was storming so bad we thought we should wait it out. Minhee was nervous to drive even just a block because if we crashed, it would be all over. And those things, those... zombies? They’re crawling all over the place. Then today, the weather was better. Still poor, but we just… we couldn’t wait anymore.”

Seungwoo placed a hand over Yohan’s as they exchanged a tired, sorrowful glance, silently agreeing that Eunsang and Minhee didn’t need to know how if they’d just been a little bit earlier, things might have been different for Dohyon. What was done was done and they were all already shouldering enough guilt and pain to last an entire lifetime.

The rest of the drive was mostly silent, Minhee doing his best to wind through the streets and avoid the roaming, mindless bodies in the way as Eunsang directed him to the checkpoint’s location. Hangyul hiccupped with quiet sobs, keeping his face pressed against the cool glass of the window, his fists, caked with brown, dried blood, habitually clenching and unclenching. Dongpyo took off his hoodie and wrapped it around Wooseok’s forearm, hiding the increasingly alarming looking wound from view. On one side of Seungwoo, Seoungyoun was sitting up pin-straight and stiff, unblinking, looking like he might pass out at any moment. On his other side, Yohan was leaning against his shoulder, staring down at their linked hands.

As the van turned down the final street to their destination, a large welcoming sign for Yonsei University, arched above a set of wrought iron gates, immediately came into view. As they attempted to get closer, Minhee had to drive up onto the grass to maneuver around a pile up of abandoned cars that had been left in the middle of the road. Seungwoo felt a flutter of anxiety as he wondered what would happen to them if this place was not actually a safe haven. From here, he couldn’t see any obvious signs that living, breathing humans were currently inhabiting the place. After all, it had been a week since Yonsei University was named as an official checkpoint and a lot could’ve changed since then.

Minhee slowed the van to a roll as they approached the front entrance. Yohan leaned across Seungwoo and ducked his head to look out the window. Seungwoo silently mourned for much simpler times when the feeling of Yohan’s warm body pressed against his lap would’ve made him dizzy with affection. It was easy to be distracted by the bigger, more significant losses, like the life of his friends, but it was a sobering reminder that he’d been robbed of such pure, innocent pleasures as well. Would he ever again know the normalcy of his heart skipping a beat over the touch of a crush? His mini pity party, however, was abruptly interrupted. 

The van was stopped only a few feet away from the big metal gates when a sudden sharp tapping sound made them all gasp and jump in their seats. They all shifted around nervously, eyes wild. Even Seungyoun who’d been practically catatonic throughout the entire drive was arching his neck to try and see outside. Seungwoo turned and squinted through the window, his heart hammering away in his hollow chest. He was just able to make out a bizarre, lumpy form in the rain. Some kind of zombie? No…

A heavily armed soldier in head-to-toe tactical gear had approached the van and was currently tapping the nose of his rifle against the back window on the left side. Seungwoo watched as two more soldiers came up behind him in the darkness, each brandishing their own firearm. They were yelling something, but it was muffled and difficult to hear from inside the van. Slowly, Eunsang pushed his door open just a few inches.

“Stop the vehicle immediately! Exit slowly keeping your hands where we can see them!”

It felt as though every single one of them let out an enormous sigh of relief at once. To Seungwoo, it was as though he’d been holding his breath for the entire week. His lungs burned and ached with the release, but still, somehow, it didn’t feel entirely celebratory. The cost of making it to safety had been too high, not to mention that they were currently being treated like criminals. It certainly wasn’t a warm welcome, but knowing they weren’t the only ones left in the entire world was enough for now. But, still, they needed to be cautious.

“Wait. Let me go first,” Seungwoo insisted as Hangyul and Minhee started to reach for their doors. He’d been doing his best to act as the leader throughout the entire nightmare and he certainly wasn’t going to stop now. Whatever awaited them outside the van, he would be the one to take it head on. He’d been lured into a false sense of security too many times in the recent past and he was going to continue to protect them the very best he could. He would be the first line of defense.

He climbed over Seungyoun and grabbed the door handle. Just as he was about to yank it open, something grabbed and tugged at his arm. Seungwoo hesitated and looked over his shoulder. 

Yohan was gripping his bicep and staring up at him. There was something solemn yet beautiful swimming in his deep brown eyes and it made Seungwoo feel strangely affected. It was no secret that the members of X1 shared a bond that allowed them to communicate without words, but the things Yohan was able to say with just one intense look pulled at Seungwoo’s frayed heartstrings. 

“Just be careful. I.. I need you to be okay. We’ve made it this far...”

Seungwoo felt oddly exposed in that moment and his face automatically flushed. It warmed him from the inside out; his icy blood suddenly running hot again through his veins. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling. It tethered him back to humanity. It was a brief, fleeting sliver of time where the world felt less terrible. How often had he sang about love? About wanting someone to stay with you so desperately?

_ 못 해준 게 더 많아서 미안해 (I’m sorry that I have more that I couldn’t give you) _

_ 이기적이고 불안한 내가 (I’m selfish and unstable) _

_ 너에게만은 잘하고 싶었어 (But I wanted to treat you well) _

_ 오랫동안 나 기다려온 (I think I found a perfect love) _

_ 완벽한 사랑을 찾은 것 같아 (That I’ve waited for a long time) _

_ 날 잡아줘서 힘이 돼줘서 (Because you held me and gave me energy) _

_ 소중한 배려로 날 안아줘서 (Because you hugged me by being considerate lovingly) _

_ 너를 만나 (After I met you.) _

He and Yohan had sat on stage together and sang ‘Me After You’ not that many months ago, during much simpler times. Was that when his feelings had first changed? Had it been that moment, listening to him sing so passionately and which such raw emotion, that Seungwoo’s heart had been unknowingly affected? Was it okay to still want something more between them? It seemed like such a frivolous thing to wish for alongside ‘please don’t let any more of my friends die,’ but he was only human. And after all they’d been through, wasn’t that just a lucky, wonderful thing?

He placed a hand on top of Yohan’s and nodded slowly. He noticed the rest of the boys were looking at him as well, their expressions hopeful, but wary. Hangyul sniffled loudly and cleared his throat before giving Seungwoo a tiny salute.

“Our fearless leader,” he said with a nod. His voice was rough and hoarse from crying. “Let’s get out of this fucking nightmare together.”

The tapping sound of the rifle against glass came again, harder this time and, outside of the van, the soldier yelled over the rain once more.

“I said get out of the vehicle now!”

Seungwoo took a deep breath, fully accepting and embracing the responsibility of his position, and pulled the van door open.


	10. Dead End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I am so sorry this took so long to post. The truth is that I felt incredibly unmotivated to write and I didn't want to put up a chapter that I didn't feel good about. The boys have been going through so much IRL that it was really difficult to make them suffer in AU as well. BUT IT'S FINALLY HERE AND I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND YOUR KINDNESS.
> 
> As always, huge shout out to my friends and cheerleaders. You da real MVPs.
> 
> Thank you for all your amazing comments and feedback. They SUSTAIN ME.
> 
> Without further ado...

Seungwoo stepped slowly out of the van, keeping his hands up and his palms facing outward. He clenched his jaw as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, careful not to limp or show any obvious signs of being injured. He wasn’t sure exactly how he would be received or how trigger happy the soldiers might be and he wanted to present himself with as much strength and poise as possible.

The three armed men were all facing him; their rifles up and aimed directly at his chest, ready to take him out in an instant if they felt it necessary. Oddly, it felt surreal, rather than dangerous, and after everything he’d seen, he couldn’t really blame them for their seemingly excessive precautions. Honestly, if it came down to it, a bullet to the heart would be a much more humane and preferable way to go after the horrific things he’d experienced this week.

“I’m Han Seungwoo,” he called out over the rain. “I’m an idol under Swing Entertainment! I’m seeking shelter with my ten-... seven other members. We were told this was a checkpoint? Please. Help us.” 

He couldn’t keep his voice from cracking, but he hoped it only made his desperation more evident. It was an indescribable feeling - coming face to face with other living, breathing strangers after having been alone with just X1 and a wandering horde of undead for so many long, wearisome days. He’d silently wondered on more than one occasion if it were theoretically possible that the surviving members of X1 were the only remaining people on Earth. It was a terrifying, grim concern that had made him restless during the cold, hopeless nights. He was sure the thought had repeatedly crossed the other’s minds as well.

Right now, Seungwoo wanted terribly to believe that they’d finally reached a safe haven and they could now place their lives in the hands of capable adults. He relished the idea of no longer having to make impossibly unfair choices, escaping the ever present fear of leading his friends to a gruesome death. He wanted to guide his friends to sanctuary and earn them the comfort and rest they so greatly deserved. But it was too soon to celebrate. It was too soon to believe their perpetual nightmare had reached its conclusion.

After a long pause, one of the soldiers cleared his throat and nodded. His expression softened a bit, becoming more welcoming and sympathetic.

“Okay, son. Just stop where you are for now! Are you or any member of your party armed or infected? I’m going to trust you to answer this honestly.” He gestured towards Seungwoo’s shirt, which was still covered in dark red blotches of dried blood.

Seungwoo’s mouth went dry and his mind began racing anxiously. He looked down at his front, but automatically shook his head sadly, still holding his hands up in a non-threatening manner. He knew Wooseok was bit, yes, but he wasn’t one of those _things_. He wasn’t showing any obvious signs of an infection. As far as Seungwoo was concerned, he was being truthful in his answer. Had the soldier asked if anyone was ‘injured,’ he might have answered differently, but right now his protective instincts were kicking in. He refused to offer any unnecessary details that might endanger his friends. He wouldn’t let harm come to them any more.  
  
“Alright. Have everyone else slowly exit the vehicle as well,” the same soldier sternly commanded, though the tone of his voice was compassionate. It seemed Seungwoo had been able to at least quell their fears that a van full of undead had rolled up to wreak havoc.

Seungwoo turned his head slowly towards the open door where the other boys were all looking out, wide-eyed and anxious. He nodded, communicating to them that it was okay to follow the orders and join him outside. Although it seemed like they were finally being rescued, he still couldn’t completely let himself feel at ease. Over the past week, he’d been conditioned to not let his guard down under any circumstances, however, at the moment, there weren’t very many options beyond following the instructions of the heavily armed men.

One by one, the other members stepped out of the van with their hands raised in the same non-threateningly fashion, mimicking Seungwoo. They shuffled into a makeshift line-up, standing side-by-side in the rain, facing the uniformed men.

Yohan. Minhee. Hangyul. Dongpyo. Eunsang. 

The soldiers were slowly approaching now and while two of them still had their guns at the ready, the third had lowered his long weapon and tucked it into the crook of his arm. He was the one who had done all the talking thus far and seemed to be in charge.

“That’s it, boys. You’re okay now,” he said, holding one hand up while he reached for the walkie-talkie secured to his belt with the other. He seemed to be looking over them with empathy now as he attempted to comfort them.

Glancing over, Seungwoo noticed that Seungyoun seemed to be hesitating and blocking the way, keeping Wooseok from exiting as well. If anyone looked ‘infected,’ it was him. His face was extremely drawn and pale, as though he hadn’t slept in a month. His complexion was tinged with a sickly green hue. It was unlike him to look so obviously shaken and fearful. Even the times in the recent past when they’d gone toe-to-toe with the undead, he’d been able to keep it together and remain the picture of strength. But now, even though they were so close to finding real protection, he looked like an empty, deflated shell of himself. Seungwoo knew reaching the checkpoint and finding safety was no longer the thing weighing most heavily on his mind. Now, it was the fate of Wooseok and what that bite would ultimately mean for him.

Seungwoo gave another curt, reassuring nod, silently encouraging him to come out. The longer he hesitated, the more suspicious the situation would appear and it wasn’t like the two of them could just stay hidden in the van forever. Their best chance was to promptly comply with orders and take whatever came next head on. Seungwoo didn’t exactly trust the authority here either, but their choices right now were extremely limited.

With a heavy, tired sigh, Seungyoun nodded back. He pushed himself up to his feet and climbed out the door of the van. Close behind him, practically attached to his back, Wooseok followed, clutching his injured arm against his chest. It was still wrapped up in Dongpyo’s hoodie and they hadn’t looked at the wound since he’d first covered it from view.

Seungwoo felt sour anxiety bubble up in his gut as Wooseok took a few steps forward in the rain. His mind started repeating a silent mantra - _please be okay, please be okay, please be okay._

But wishing and praying had been useless thus far and the moment Wooseok’s feet hit the pavement and he moved to raise his hands up like the other boys had, the energy in the air changed. Even the two soldiers who still had their guns raised menacingly had seemed to settle into a more relaxed stance, but now they were stiffening up again and situating their fingers carefully against their triggers. The one that seemed to be in charge froze in place, his own sympathetic demeanor turning stone cold once again. As if one cue, a sharp crack of thunder cut through the steady sound of rain.

Instantly, the head soldier lifted his arm above his head and made a quick flicking motion with his fingers. Without hesitation, the other two soldiers crossed the divide and were on Wooseok like a flash. They were much faster than Hangyul and Seungyoun, who were also immediately spurred into action, quickly stepping out of line and turning protectively towards Wooseok.

The two armed men expertly grabbed at Wooseok, tightly restraining him by the shoulders, while the head soldier stepped forward and snatched the protective hoodie off of his wrist, exposing the gruesome bite. Even from where he was standing, Seungwoo could see that the skin was now bubbling up and oozing with a viscous black liquid. The spindly web of dark purple veins protruding from the wound were thicker and more twisted now, branching out across his skin like gnarled, decaying tree limbs. The flesh there looked soft and wet as though it might slough right off the bone if you touched it. The necktie Hyeongjun had found was still tied tightly around Wooseok’s forearm, but the discoloration had crept up passed it, extending out towards the crook of his elbow. Seungwoo’s stomach flipped and his heart plummeted to his feet. It looked really, really bad.

He was only able to tear his attention away from the ominous wound when he noticed the head soldier was slinging his rifle onto his arm and pulling out a pistol from his holster instead. He held it up, aiming it directly towards Wooseok’s chest while he lifted his walkie-talkie to his mouth with his free hand. He spared an angry, accusatory glare at Seungwoo before he spoke, yelling to be heard over the rain.

“We have a Code Orange at the main gate! Send all available members of the B9 team to the main gate, stat. I repeat, we have a Code-”

Time seemed to stretch and warp like taffy as Seungwoo watched the next series of events unfold in slow motion, somehow anticipating them before they even happened. Whether he’d somehow reached an elevated level of clairvoyance or just knew his fellow members so extremely well that he could predict their actions before they even carried them out, he wasn’t sure, but he felt panic clutch it’s icy fingers around his throat and squeeze.

The head soldier’s message was cut off as Hangyul broke from the line up in a blur. He leapt forward, wrapping his arms around the head soldier’s waist in a bear hug, using all of his weight and momentum to unexpectedly tackle him to the ground. Right behind him, Seungyoun was also on the move, launching himself towards Wooseok, fists flying wildly as he tried to batter off the other soldiers and break free their hold.

“Get the fuck off him!” he snarled, yanking desperately at their arms. His voice was hoarse and heavy with desperation; his motions manic and almost rabid.

Sprawled out on the wet street, Hangyul and the head soldier scuffled around, but it was clearly a losing battle. Hangyul was strong and quick, but he was really no match for a trained member of the military.

So far, Seungwoo had only been able to stand there frozen, watching the chaos unfold in a daze. It felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, seeing things through the lens of someone completely removed from the situation, but when the head soldier brought the butt of his pistol swiftly down onto the base of Hangyul’s skull, he seemed to snap back into reality. Every nerve seemed to fire off a spark of electricity as he regained control of his body. As Hangyul went limp, his head hitting the asphalt with a nauseating bounce, Seungwoo’s vision blurred red with anger.

_ Not like this. _

After everything they’d been through and all the struggles they’d endured, he couldn’t bear the idea of seeking shelter being their ultimate downfall. It would be too much of a sick, twisted joke. Before he’d even made a conscious decision to enter the fray, Seungwoo’s body was moving on its own and he was sprinting towards the head soldier, who was now attempting to get to his feet. Seungwoo’s injured knee throbbed in protest, but it was a weak plea at best, as though it already knew it would be ignored. The rest of his muscles and joints were on fire with adrenaline, fueling him forward in what was surely a futile mission. He dove towards the soldier, grabbing at his wrists and trying to wrench the pistol from his grip. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yohan, Minhee, Eunsang and Dongpyo all fall out of line themselves, joining in on the fight.

Idly, Seungwoo wondered what the end game here was. Even though they had the advantage in numbers right now, the soldiers were all armed and trained. Backup was already on the way. This wouldn’t end in their favor. But his blood was boiling with rage; a culmination of all of his anger and pain and fear giving him an unprecedented spike of strength as he actually managed to land a right hook against the head soldier’s jaw. In that instant, he realized they weren’t necessarily fighting to win. They were fighting simply to fight, because they’d come too far to give up now. Protecting each other was all they had left.

He was vaguely aware of the sound of pounding footsteps as members of what he assumed to be the B9 team approached, finally arriving on the chaotic scene. A jumble of familiar and unfamiliar voices mixed with the steady pitter-patter of rain. His knuckles stung, the soft flesh there split and bleeding from his flurry of punches, but he didn’t stop. He wasn’t sure he could reign himself in even if he wanted to. His actions were being driven by something innate and primal that had been slowly building up over the past week.

Suddenly, something hard whacked him in the side of the head, right above his temple. His vision swam and he blinked rapidly, trying to get his eyes to refocus. He twisted around and held up his arms, attempting to block himself from another unexpected blow, but then it came again, this time with a loud crack against his skull. The world seemed to tilt and spin making him feel instantly nauseous and disoriented. There was a split second where he realized he’d completely lost control of his motor function and was falling face first towards the ground, but right before impact everything went black.

* * *

The first thing Seungwoo felt was immense pain. His head throbbed with a deep, sharp, aching sensation that radiated out from his left temple. It felt as though a dull, rusted bit was drilling into his skull. His heavy, crusted eyelids attempted to flutter open, but his vision was met with blinding, fluorescent lighting that amped up the pain in his head to excruciating levels so he quickly closed them again, throwing a limp arm over his face to block out the glare. His consciousness flickered as he swam in and out of memories and dreams, unable to latch onto any concrete line of thought that might tether him to reality.

He cycled through this odd hallucinatory state of being vaguely conscious, yet not quite awake for what seemed like hours. Every time he tried to pry his eyes open, they protested against the harsh light and he found himself too weak to fight it. Eventually, the fog that seemed to encase his brain began to dissipate and he was able to recall flickers of details that had lead him to this point.

A few hours (or maybe even days? he couldn’t be sure) passed before he found himself ready to force his eyes open and face the world. As he pried his eyelids open and shifted his lethargic, aching body around, he became aware of something warm and familiar pressed against his side. Curiosity fueled him as he blinked against the bright lights, refusing to be defeated by their harsh glare this time. He glanced down, squinting as his vision cleared, his head pounding painfully in his ears. For the umpteenth time this week, he found Dongpyo curled up next to him, snuggled up in the crook of his arm, asleep, though half of his small body was hanging off of the thin cot they currently shared.

Seungwoo’s eyes trailed slowly down the length of the cot, finding a second person sitting on a chair beside his makeshift bed, hunched over and sleeping next to his feet. He recognized Yohan’s form immediately, even though his face was hidden from view, resting face down against his crossed arms. He stared down at the top of his head, feeling his heart swell with affection and relief. It made his throat tight with unexpected emotion.

Movement from a bit further away caught his attention and he pulled his eyes away from Yohan. Tucked into two chairs across the way, Eunsang and Minhee were wearing fresh changes of clothes and sharing some kind of bento box between them. The both looked clean and rested, though Minhee had a small bandage taped against his cheekbone.

Seungwoo glanced around the odd room, taking in his immediate surroundings. They were in a classroom that seemed to have been set up as some sort of triage center, though of the six other beds set up in the space, only his appeared to currently be occupied. To his left, large, open windows lined the wall and an abundance of bright, coveted sunshine was pouring in through the glass.

As he attempted to slowly, carefully prop himself up on his elbows, he drew Eunsang and Minhee’s attention, and they both of them immediately broke out into warm grins, eyes wide as they quickly uncurled themselves from their positions to stand. They rushed over to his side, looking him over with concern.

“Finally!” Eunsang said softly, his eyes glistening. “You’re awake.”

As if on cue, Hangyul walked in through the door at that moment, arms full of an array of packaged snacks.

“Ah, our fearless leader has returned to us. Just in time for a feast. I found a vending machine on the third floor that was still pretty full! Fucking lucky, eh?” His head was wrapped in thick, white bandaging, a stain of dark red blooming above his left ear, and he was outfitted in some sort of hospital gown. As he sauntered past the cot, Seungwoo got a full view of his completely bare and exposed behind and he couldn’t help the burst of laughter that abruptly exploded from his chest.

Somehow, they’d survived. Somehow, they’d retained their humanity.

Seungwoo’s entire body shook with laughter and seconds later, the sound of Eunsang and Minhee’s own joined in. It was one of the most wonderful sounds he’d ever heard. When Eunsang instinctively reached out, doubled over in giggles, and began roughly shoving him on the shoulder, the motion sent stabs of pain jolting through his entire body, but it was unimportant. He felt incredible. For the first time in what felt like a very long time, there was a sense of relief. They hadn’t been eaten alive by zombies. They hadn’t been gunned down by soldiers.

Yohan and Dongpyo both stirred, obviously awakened by the loud commotion. As soon as Yohan’s eyes focused, yanking him from a deep sleep, he jumped to his feet, sending his chair toppling backwards. For some inexplicable reason, the loud clatter only made them laugh harder. Maybe it was just a manifestation of them having completely lost their minds, but it didn’t matter. It was amazing to feel something positive for a change.

After a few minutes, they managed to calm down and collect themselves. They all settled together around Seungwoo’s cot, dragging over chairs or sitting perched on the edge of his mattress. He discovered his own head was tightly bandaged too, as well as his injured knee, but he still managed to push himself up into a sitting position with Yohan’s help. Hangyul handed out the snacks, though Seungwoo could’ve easily passed for the time being. Besides feeling slightly nauseous from the pain, the packaged foods reminded him too much of their many meals in the convenience store and the horrors they had lived through during their time hiding between the aisles. The phrase ‘too soon’ had never felt so apt.

Of course, Seungwoo had many questions, but he was hesitating to ask them. As they sat quietly, exchanging warm smiles and nibbling on the food, it seemed like they were all holding back in exchange for just enjoying the moment.

Seungwoo had noticed right away that Wooseok and Seungyoun were still missing from the group, though he was clinging to the hope that there was an innocent and reasonable explanation for their absence. There was bliss in ignorance, but as their leader, he could only linger in the comfort of the unknown for so long.

“Wooseok and Seungyoun?” he asked quietly, looking into each of their faces and silently wishing for a positive response.

He was met with flat, troubled expressions, though they didn’t seem especially mournful or distressed. He felt himself relax the tiniest amount.

“Well, we’re not sure,” Eunsang answered, tearing idly at the edges of the empty packaging from his chocolate bar. “After the fight at the front gates, we all got hauled off in different directions.”

“You and Hangyul got cracked pretty hard,” Yohan added, shifting closer to Seungwoo and grabbing his hand beneath the sheet. “You’ve been knocked out for two days.”

“Two days?” Seungwoo heard himself echo. That seemed like an unfathomably long amount of time after everything they’d been through. How much more had the world changed? Were things better or were they worse?

“We haven’t seen them since,” Yohan continued. He looked sadly over at Hangyul who was crushing a box of Pepero between a tightly clenched fist, his eyes narrowed and unfocused. “We’ve been told they are safe, but… that’s all. No one will give us any other answers. Hangyul keeps trying to sneak around and find out where they’re being kept, but they’ve threatened to throw him out of here more than once if he doesn’t stop snooping around.”

Hangyul began mumbling a slew of angry curses under his breath, but Dongpyo piped up brightly, interrupting the sudden dark turn of his mood.

“At least you managed to find us some good snacks, hyung!” he offered enthusiastically, shoving a ridiculously large handful of cherry gummies in his mouth to show his appreciation.

Hangyul sighed and shook his head, seemingly trying to physically clear his negative thoughts. He offered a small, weak smile as he reached out to ruffle Dongpyo’s hair affectionately. It was obvious that they were all working hard to help hold each other together and Seungwoo couldn’t help but feel a pang of pride in his boys. The incredibly heavy burden perpetually weighing down on his shoulders seemed to lift just a bit. He was reminded of something he’d already always known: he could trust them to look out for each other.

The silence rolled back in, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. They continued to eat, sharing bites and quiet giggles, though Seungwoo was most content to just watch them all. This moment felt like a cosmic time-out; a small break from the horror show that had become their lives. He savored it, wanting to commit it to memory, even though it was missing so many important pieces.

Eventually, it was Eunsang who spoke up first this time, awkwardly clearing his throat and picking distractedly at his cuticles.

“Hey, uh, Seungwoo-hyung? Minhee…” Eunsang’s eyes flicked up and darted between the two of them, his voice thick with remorse. “Minhee wanted to know about… Hyeongjun. I know you just woke up, but…we...”

Seungwoo’s heart tugged sharply within his chest. He looked up into Eunsang’s earnest face and then over at Minhee, whose wide eyes were glistening with wetness. He understood instantly how patiently they’d been waiting to hear about their close friend’s last hours. He understood why Yohan and Hangyul had probably insisted they hear the story from him, instead of relaying it themselves.

Seungwoo smiled softly and nodded, warm tears instantly blurring his vision as he replayed the painful, but cherished memories in his head. He welcomed the sharp sting of remembering, coveting the fact that he was lucky enough to even have the memories to share.

He told them how brave Hyeongjun had been; how he’d trusted the older members and followed all of their instructions even when he was absolutely terrified. He told them how he’d been such a reliable hyung to Dohyon, sticking by his side throughout the entire first night. He told them how he’d laughed, finding a small, impossible moment of joy while they’d torn the office apart looking to scavenge supplies like they were on a variety show. He told them how in the end, he’d been so focused on being helpful and contributing to the group’s survival that he’d dashed out of the van without hesitation to retrieve something from the trunk that might be useful.

Silent tears spilled down Minhee’s cheeks while he listened to Seungwoo recall the events, but he also smiled brilliantly, his love displayed so clearly across his face. He nodded his head emphatically the whole time, as if to say, ‘of course. Of course that would be expected of our Hyeongjun.’ Seungwoo skipped over the explicit details of his tragic death, finding them unnecessary, but when he tearfully tried to apologize for not being able to keep him safe, Minhee immediately waved him off and shook his head. He stood and walked over, throwing his arms around Seungwoo in a tight hug.

“Thank you, Seungwoo-hyung,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

Over the next hour, the boys helped to fill in the gaps in Seungwoo’s memory. They explained how they were currently safely within Yonsei University and that it had in fact been transformed into a clearance checkpoint. About 300 other people who had been in and around Jongno-gu at the time of the outbreak were also currently seeking refuge here, though hundreds more had been transported via military escort to the main safe zone in central Seoul over the past week. Beyond this very basic exchange of information, they didn’t know very much else and hadn’t been permitted to contact anyone on the outside. Despite the lack of transparency, the excessive force used by the soldiers, and the fact that two of their members were now missing, it seemed like the military was truly working with the best interests of the survivors in mind. They’d all been regularly fed, allowed showers and given clean changes of clothes. They’d been checked over by volunteer medical staff. They’d spent some time in the common areas with the others awaiting transport, all commiserating over the tragedy, though none ever volunteered to share the details of their own specific and likely traumatic journey to safety. A handful of people had recognized them as members of X1 and although they seemed sheepish and extremely hesitant to approach under the current circumstances, the boys had welcomed them, glad for the distraction and the seemingly impossible opportunity to bring a smile to their weary, tired faces.

Seungwoo did his best to absorb and retain all the information that they were relaying to him, but his head throbbed and ached making it extremely difficult to focus for the extended period of time. After awhile, his eyes began to flutter closed, still heavy with exhaustion, despite having been unconscious for so long. The thought of settling into a restful, comfortable sleep was too enticing to resist.

It was Yohan who first noticed he was beginning to nod off and he made a show of tucking Seungwoo in before aggressively ushering the rest of them out of the room. They bickered in hushed whispers the whole way out the door over whether or not someone should stay or who should come back to check in on him.

Behind closed lids, Seungwoo smiled to himself, feeling warmth blossom within his chest. The paper thin tendrils of hope that had woven his heart desperately together through all of the tragedy seemed to grow stronger with every beat. There was still so much to grieve over and so many unknown hurdles to conquer, but a part of his family still remained in tact and for that he considered himself truly blessed.

As he slipped into sleep, he saw the smiling faces of Junho and Dohyon and Hyeongjun. He saw Wooseok and Seungyoun who he silently vowed to find and reconnect with. He saw Dongpyo and Eunsang and Minhee and Hangyul, laughing and shining brightly, like brilliant rays of sunlight. He saw Yohan, his heart skipping as he remembered the feeling of their bodies pressed comfortably together, as though they were intentionally made to fit that way.

X1 would fly high above this ruined world, carried on the wings of those they had lost. They would make it through this. Together, he knew they would survive and preserve, just like always. 


	11. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Seungwoo's life had prepared him for this. Being the leader of X1 had essentially made him a glorified babysitter, but now the group was looking to him to make life or death decisions. In just 12 hours, Seoul had become a macabre wasteland of horror and despair. Reality had shifted off it's axis and plunged them into something that seemed unreal. He wasn't qualified for this responsibility. Would they follow him to the edge of the world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy. Welp folks, this is it. A month and a half isn't long to be working on a fic, but when I tell you I spent every day writing or thinking about this story I'm not exaggerating. It took up such a significant portion of my headspace that I'm more than a little emo to see it finally end. Writing in-canon always leaves me feeling even more attached and this time is no different.
> 
> I can't thank everyone enough for all their comments and engagement. So many times, I hadn't intended to work on the fic, but then I read a comment that instantly inspired me to get back to writing. Your feedback has been so rewarding. So many of you took the time to leave such thoughtful words and I never got tired of reading (and re-reading) them. Of course, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the fic as a whole now that it's come to an end!
> 
> Huge shout out to those of you who have been here from the beginning. Even bigger shout out to Yan and Dannie and all my friends on Twitter who cheered me on or hyped the fic.
> 
> Let's do it.

⤚ EPILOGUE ⤙

_1 YEAR LATER_

Seungwoo sat on the bank of the Han River, gazing out over the water. The calm surface glittered and sparkled like a sheet of diamonds in the early autumn midday sun. He’d propped himself up on his elbows in the grass and the sharp blades itched and tickled pleasantly at the exposed skin of his arms. Noise and movement swirled around him, as many others had journeyed to this location as well, desperate to enjoy one of the last few seasonably warm days in Seoul. Across the way, he watched as a large family shared a picnic blanket while one of the children helped pass around a box of sandwiches and juice. Couples held hands as they strolled along the winding concrete walkways lining the river. An elderly man rode by on a bike with a fishing pole strapped to his back and a large, fluffy dog prancing alongside the back wheel.

_ Life went on. _

Seungwoo had picked this particular Hanggang park because it was always bustling with people. It was always crowded and alive; the air ebbing and flowing with constant laughter and conversation. He used to savor spending his time alone, but these days he much preferred being surrounded by others. Solitude made him anxious and it left far too much room for dark thoughts to creep in uninvited. He found that being alone now made him feel lonely and disconnected. It was a new and bizarre change to struggle with on top of everything else that constantly weighed heavy on his mind.

Luckily, he was rarely by himself these days and for the first time in his life he was finding peace and comfort in that. At his core, he was still the same. He was still introspective and he was still thoughtful, perhaps now more than ever, but the presence of another warm body sharing the same space settled his perpetually restless mind and aching heart in ways it never had before. Leaning on someone else had always made him feel like a burden, but now it was a necessity.

For the survivors of the 2019 tragedy, life as they knew it was changed forever. In many ways, they were beyond repair, though months of therapy made the guilt and the ever present fears slightly more bearable. Still, they existed beneath the cloud of their shared nightmare, never quite free of its suffocating shadow. The memories still tainted every experience and infected every moment of possible joy. Were they allowed to be happy? Were they allowed to move on? It was a question Seungwoo shouted into the void every day, but he’d yet to hear any definitive answer echo back.

The cause of the outbreak had been narrowed down to biological warfare, though very little information beyond that was currently being offered to the general public. While the figureheads all did their best to reassure citizens that the proper steps were being taken to ensure such a tragedy could never happen again, there was no real concrete evidence of any new protocol or safety measures being implemented.

For awhile, the people demanded more definitive answers and when they received none, riots broke out in front of the government buildings. But the anger was hot and short lived, like a flash in a pan, and it was quickly extinguished. Fighting was exhausting and defeating, and quite honestly, some people were afraid that there simply were no answers to give. It was easier to go back to living life as usual. It was easier to believe the empty promises they were being fed. It was easier to return to an existence of peaceful ignorance. Those who hadn’t experienced the devastation first hand couldn’t fathom the real depth of horrors caused by the outbreak and the government did their best to quickly cover up any actual footage of what had happened in the affected areas so that the panic didn’t spread.

It was further revealed that the outbreak had indeed occurred throughout parts of the entire world, all within a shared five hour time frame. Luckily, it seemed to have been contained to pocket locations and was never able to spread across a larger area the way it may have been intended. In fact, certain remote cities and towns never even knew the outbreak had occurred at all. News sites reported that doctors, researchers, political personnel and ambassadors from hundreds of countries were currently working together to suss out the source of the biological attack, as well as rebuild the infected areas.

_ Life went on. _

Seungwoo hadn’t seen Wooseok since that day outside the gates of Yonsei University. As far as he and the others had been told, Wooseok had been sent to a research lab in America to undergo thorough testing. They were assured that he was alive and in good hands, but as usual all the significant details were left vague and his future was undefined. Korea seemed to have no interest in keeping any of the infected within the country under any circumstances, citing it as too high of a risk and quickly washing their hands of the entire ordeal. They were content to just move on from the tragedy as swiftly as possible, to the extent that it was almost like it had never even happened. There were no monuments constructed. No official vigils or gatherings were held to honor those who had died. Individual’s loved ones were able to put together a few small events for those who had passed, but they garnered very little attention from the general public. Small stipends were available for the families who had lost someone, though they were tangled up in so much paperwork and red tape that it was almost more painful to pursue than it was worth.

The day before the remaining members of X1 were set to be transferred from the Yonsei University checkpoint to the safe zone in central Seoul, a pale and bleary-eyed Seungyoun unexpectedly joined them for a meal in the main cafeteria. He was escorted in by two members of the military, though they were unarmed and didn’t seem to pay him an extraordinary amount of attention. He didn’t speak and he barely ate, but when it was time to leave, he hugged them each individually with unexpected strength before stumbling off again with his uniformed chaperones. He didn’t look back. It was the last time Seungwoo would see him and it would take six months before he would finally respond to one of the many texts that were sent daily.

Eventually, they learned that Seungyoun had also gone to America, following after Wooseok and his family, though it was unclear whether or not he’d actually been able to see him since outside the front gates of Yonsei either. According to his short and infrequent text communication, he spent the majority of his time sitting on the benches outside of the research lab in the state of Illinois where Wooseok was currently being treated. He had been banned from entering the building (and Seungwoo could only imagine why), but the security let him loiter out front, unbothered, probably having grown to pity him over his long weeks of persistent visits, rain or shine.

The only person to have seen Seungyoun since that day in the cafeteria was Hangyul.

Hangyul went back and forth between America and Korea quite regularly, lending his support to Seungyoun and simply keeping him company as he waited endlessly outside of the research facility for some kind of news or answers. It seemed Hangyul was more restless than ever. He was unable to sit still or focus on a singular thing for more than a few minutes at a time. He was having a lot of difficulties sleeping. Guilt weighed on him heavily and the only way he seemed able to manage it was by filling his life with distractions. Some of them weren’t particularly healthy, but Seungwoo and the others saw to it that none were exceptionally destructive. Mostly, he let his huge heart steer him forward and tried to repay the gift of his life by giving back to others. He spent a lot of time with Dohyon’s family, helping his mother with tasks around the house and running errands for them in the mornings. He volunteered at his old orphanage and taught dance classes to kids once a week at a non-profit studio in Incheon. He’d always been extremely generous with his time and effort, but Seungwoo recognized that this was something more. This was an attempt at atonement; an apology for surviving unscathed when others had not been so lucky. Hangyul couldn’t seem to stand to be around himself these days and so he found relief in giving himself away to others. It was genuine and it was admirable, but it was also a tool to help him heal.

MNet and CJE&M wanted desperately to capitalize on X1’s survival story, offering them not only a comeback music showcase, but also a seven part sit down series detailing the tragic events of their week trapped in Jongno-gu. Every single media outlet and network was suddenly begging for an appearance or an interview, salivating over the potential ratings and advertiser checks. Broadcasts that had shunned them and blackballed them now saw dollar signs. Giving them all a gigantic ‘fuck off’ was the first real pleasure the survivng X1 members experienced once they’d returned to the real world.

Together, they agreed to go on Run.Wav, a show that had supported them back when few others would, asking that their appearance fees be distributed and sent to Hyeongjun, Junho, Wooseok and Dohyon’s families instead. As expected, their trust had not been misguided and the show aired a special episode dealing with their story in a respectful, delicate way. The focus was on honoring the members individually and remembering those that had been lost along the way. It was X1’s final appearance.

Dongpyo and Eunsang went back to their respective companies. The general public’s call of support was loud and demanding. Korea desperately wanted success stories to fill the gaping holes that tragedy had left behind and somehow, as their tale spread, X1’s members had become the poster children for survival and perseverance. It was a heavy burden that none of them asked for. All they had ever wanted was to perform and make music and be together.

Eunsang was currently being promoted as a soloist, lending his smooth vocals to a variety of upcoming drama OSTs and making huge waves on the charts. Dongpyo was set to debut as the center of a new boy group at the end of the year. They were already trending on Billboard Social’s Top 50. They were both working hard, pouring their aching hearts into their new endeavors in an attempt to honor their friends who could no longer stand on stage beside them.

Minhee decided to go back to school and focus on his studies. Losing Hyeongjun seemed to taint the entire experience of being an idol and he found his interests evolving and changing. His passion for science took priority and he decided he wanted to pursue a career in biological research. Three months earlier, he’d officially received his driver’s licence. They’d all celebrated the occasion with pork ribs, chicken feet and karaoke.

They all got together as regularly as their schedules allowed, though they’d all drop anything and everything in an instant for each other if needed. They still kept each other updated and chatted daily in their original X1 group chat, all eleven numbers still included. The bond they’d already shared was now forged even stronger. Despite being saved and returning to a familiar reality, they all still sometimes felt like the only ones left in the world.

_ But, life went on. _

Seungwoo was suddenly cast in shadow as someone moved in front of him, blocking out the sun. He glanced up slowly, smiling, already knowing who he’d find.

Yohan.

Yohan was grinning down at him, carefully balancing three plates of various street foods on his hands, two bottles of water tucked into the crook of his arm. He was wearing one of Seungwoo’s oversized sweatshirts and a pair of slightly baggy jeans. He’d lost a lot of weight in the aftermath of the tragedy, but he was starting to fill back out again and it made Seungwoo happy to see him look healthier. Thankfully, he’d never lost his bright, boyish smile and that alone continued to save Seungwoo over and over again each and every day.

After things had settled down and the outbreak was officially contained, they’d all returned to their respective family’s homes, but Seungwoo was quick to realize that it didn’t feel right. He felt like an imposter and found himself abnormally lashing out in frustration. His wounds were still too raw and too fresh, and being surrounded by a household full of people who were incapable of really understanding his particular traumas made him feel lost and alone. Their constant concern was more suffocating than comforting and the attention made him feel claustrophobic and alien. Seungwoo hated the person he was becoming, though none of his loved ones blamed him for his struggles in re-acclimating to normalcy and dealing with his PTSD.

Whenever Seungwoo spoke to Yohan, which was quite often, Yohan seemed to be experiencing very similar difficulties in readjusting. After the holidays, they decided to move out of their homes and into a small apartment in Gangnam. It made a huge difference and together, they were really able to begin to heal.

When Seungwoo woke in the middle of the night, covered in a cold sweat and calling out desperately for help, Yohan was right beside him, offering the only kind of soothing touches and comforting words that could dispel the nightmare and lull Seungwoo back to a restful sleep. When Yohan was having a difficult day and feeling too anxious to leave the apartment, Seungwoo would prepare him meals and play the soft kind of music they both liked. They were a team, and in between the pockets of pain, romance bloomed.

_ Incredibly, life went on. _

Play M and his Victon family had been enormously understanding, letting Seungwoo take all the time he needed to make decisions about his future and choose his next path. He’d been writing and producing his own music over the past few months, but just recently he finally felt ready to get back on stage. Performing gave him purpose. He would be rejoining Victon in the studio for recording sessions next month as they began putting together their newest mini-album. It sent a torrid of conflicting emotions whirling inside him, but above everything else, he knew that Hyeongjun would be incredibly disappointed if he gave up on music and so he didn’t.

Yohan had quickly returned to Taekwondo. It was a good outlet for him to channel his residual anger and frustration. It exhausted both his muscles and his mind. He was still under OUI Entertainment and his management was constantly receiving piles and piles of scripts with his name on them. Just as Seungwoo was starting to take steps to piece life back together, Yohan agreed to do the same. He had his first table read next week for a supporting part in TVN’s upcoming historical drama, King of the Stars. Somehow, though they were pursuing different ventures, doing it together made it seems significantly less scary.

_ It wasn’t easy, but life went on. _

Seungwoo knew he would never forget a single second of their nightmarish ordeal. He felt such gut wrenching sympathy for his past self and the burdens he’d attempted to endure alone. He vividly remembered wondering how far he could possibly lead the members of X1 with such lacking qualifications. He’d questioned if the other boys would really follow him to the end of the world. Of course, in the end, he’d come to realize that they’d stood side by side and walked to the edge together. Every single one of them had contributed in some significant way to the survival of the remaining eight. He would remember each of them forever.

He hated when people told him he was ‘lucky’ to be alive. Luck implied it had been random chance, but he knew it had been so much more than that. It had been hard work and determination and the enormous sacrifices from his friends that allowed him to sit here today in the warm grass looking up into the face of a boy he loved; a boy who had held onto the strings of his unraveling heart and somehow managed to thread them back together. 

** _And so... life went on._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> << MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT >>
> 
> As promised, here are the spoilers for all deaths:
> 
> Hyeongjun - end of Chapter 4.  
Junho - 'off-screen' mid Chapter 7.  
Dohyon - mid Chapter 8.
> 
> Fun fact! Family Mart pulled all their franchises out of South Korea in 2014! Who knew!? Obviously not me!
> 
> \- FIN - ... until next Halloween?


End file.
